Broken Minds and Broken Bottles

A Rush of Memories

The nurse spoke cautiously, clearly terrified that I'd freak out or worse if she so much as looked at me funny.

"Wait, what? How?" I asked, confused, and then a rush of memories came flooding back to me. I remembered crying in my room for no particular reason at all, taking out my razor, digging it into my skin, slashing my thighs, my wrists, ribbons of blood flowing out of me, my sister running into my room and yelling for help, my mother screaming out my name, the twins crying, blacking out... and I guess I've been unconscious since then, until I woke up just now.

"When can I leave?" I asked shakily.

Lauren turned around and gave me a sad smile. "Oh, honey..." she said gently. "You're going to need to stay for at least a couple of months, you need to/we need you to focus on getting better, that's all..."

"Oh, okay..." I replied, disappoint at these circumstances, but mostly just angry at myself for getting into this situation. I didn't want to be an Albridge kid. I didn't want to be one of those crazy psychopaths who gets locked up for the rest of their lives. I... I just couldn't. I'm not insane, at least I don't think I am - but then again, I did just cut my legs and arms practically to ribbons recently, so I'm not so sure about that anymore...

Just then, the door burst open and my mom came running in. "Eleanor, sweetheart! You're awake!" She shouted, and I flinched at the loud noise. "Sorry," she said, "I'm just so glad that you're alive. I... We thought we'd lost you. You were unconscious for four days," She said, wrapping me up in a gigantic bear hug. I winced in pain, and she apologized and stepped away quickly, nervously. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you woke up, I was just so nervous that..." She stopped herself, but I knew what she was going to say, that you'd never wake up, that you'd die, or even worse, that you would wake up and we'd have to deal with you again. But at least my mom won't have to deal with me as much, at least for now since I'm stuck in this hospital... I deserve it, though. I'm just so fat and ugly and worthless...

"Eleanor..." my mom said softly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"S-sorry..." I said awkwardly/apologetically. "I just got a little bit distracted..."

"Hey," I heard a soft, slightly nervous voice say that was much too gentle to be my mom's. I looked around and saw my older sister, Amy, standing in the doorway. Cowering behind her were my younger twin brothers, Luke and Derik. Amy stepped carefully stepped into the room, my brothers quickly following suit. The nurse left, allowing me to have some "family time", or whatever you'd like to call a bunch of family members in a room together, silent and awkward.

. "Are you okay?" Amy asked, concerned, taking in my bandaged limbs and tired face.

"Y-Yeah... I'm fine, I guess," I said, wishing I had one of my razors[just then/right now. "At least, as fine as I can be at a mental hospital," I added in a desperate attempt to make a joke.

My family laughed uncomfortably, not sure what else to do. After a few moments of awkward silence, my mom's phone dinged, and she took it out of her purse and looked at the new text apologetically. "I'm sorry, I have to go back to work now." she said sadly. "My boss needs me at a meeting, and I need to drop the kids off at home" "Amy came with us," she added, since she only had her permit and not her official license yet. Not that I'd be there when she got the license though, probably. Knowing me, I'd still be stuck in here, rotting, for months, years, decades even...

I quickly snapped back to reality and nodded, signaling that she could go. I couldn't blame her really; She was always working, but it's not like she had a choice. My dad had left when I was five, vanishing without a trace, not even leaving a note or any money. We haven't heard from him since, and my mom's been struggling struggling to make ends meet ever since then. She works as a saleswoman, waitress, secretary, and nurse, so it's a miracle that she even has any time to spend with her family, although the amount of down time that she does have is still very little.

My mom smiled gratefully and promptly left the room, waving goodbye. My brothers said bye in unison, and Amy gave me a little nod of encouragement, and then they all followed her out of the room.

As soon as they had all left the room, I put my head in my pillow and screamed in unbelievable agony...

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**hey, um, so yeah- there's the first real chapter. *cue the word vomit* the picture at the top is eleanor, a.k.a leora/el, before she got bangs and the ends of her hair dyed teal and purple. ughhhh i'm so nervous to post this though haha um ok well here goes, and i hope you guys enjoy! please feel free to leave comments or whatever, i'll read and respond to them all (not that anyone's probably even reading this but oh well haha). *cue even more word vomit* ugh sorry i'm text-babbling i'm super chatty (or i guess "texty") and nervous, like REALLY nervous!! anyway, ummmmmmm yea please keep reading if you can as well and um ok bye!!!! see you guys in the next chapter (which is coming very very soon like literally i'm writing it right after this author's note because hellooooo... corona! :/**