Steel Rose

Chapter 64

My hands turn clammy as I lean over the pan of scrambled eggs carefully moving them around the pan. I watch them cook for a few moments before turning back around to face Carmadon who cuts up potatoes, before adding them to the hissing frying pan.

"So what do you think?" I ask him.

He glances at me, a flicker of his smiles at the corner of his mouth. "I thought you wanted to go back to Norta?"

I hesitant leaning against the counter. "I-," I turn my gaze to the small tomato sitting in a basket from Carmadon's garden. "I thought I did. But, I don't really know. I miss my family, that much I do know."

A flicker of compassion passes over him. "Your family in the Rift or your family in Norta?"

I pause. Family in the Rift? I've never viewed Volo or Larentia or Evangeline as family. Although, now I suppose I am their family. The thought is odd, and even in my head it sounds wrong. Those people don't want me anymore than they want my son. But I don't feel any sort of longing for them either. I only think of Kess and Roe. They were red, and they were good to me. Past the standards of any red serving their silver lady.

"In Norta, of course." I answer with probably too much of a snap. "My father. My mother and my brothers. What I would give to see them again."

Carmadon doesn't even blink as he adds herbs to the simmering pan of the stove. I watch him stir the potatoes before he adds some salt.

"Is there any way I could get a letter to them? To tell them I'm okay?"

I know my answer before Carmadon has the chance to even look up from his beloved food. "No, too risky."

I sigh and still feel the crushing weight that I've failed my family. "I know."

He replaces the top over the potatoes and fiddles with the knob controlling the intensity of the flame. "Turn on low, so you don't burn the eggs." he says before turning his attentions to the frying pan sizzling with potatoes. "Still no word from Ptolemus?" He asks.

I shake me head, feeling the need to smash a plate. "No," I huff. "He has a son, and he claims he loves me and he can't even write me back. We have a child together."

"Mmm," Carmadon hums. "Prehaps the letter got lost in transport."

I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes. "Monfort got a letter in. I would assume it would be easier getting one out."

I feel the familar anger rise in me when I think about it. He doesn't love me. How can he ignore our child like this. I burn and feel more anger rise in me when I think more. When I think of the nights I spent waiting for his letter telling me that he loves me and that he loves our child. That he loves our Darcy. I know exactly what he is doing.

"Deep breaths Miss Belle," Carmadon says looking at me pointedly. "It's best not to jump to conclusions."

I force myself to come back to the present. "Yes, I know."

"Tell me about this job. Did you go do what I told you?"

"Yes," I nod eager to change the subject. "I went down to the employer's office like you told me. I got most of it filled out. Except I don't know what to put as my address."

"Just write down this one." Carmadon says with a shrug. "Many people live in here for their work, and their mail is separated from any other and distributed every day."

"Really?" I ask not expecting an answer. "So I just write Premiers address and they send it."

Carmadon smiles and nods. "Yes, Miss. Belle."