"Holy crap, Kris is such a bitch," I mumble, half my face smushed into the couch and half watching a show I'd never imagined myself watching.
"Tru," what's-her-name says with a mouthful of cereal.
It's a disgusting thing watching what's-her-face eating cereal. She smacks and spews and speaks with her mouth full.
Damn, she's annoying.
"Damnit, will you STOP smacking?!" I groan.
"Will you get your legs off me?"
I notice that, in fact, my calves were laying on her lap, and I then feel myself wanting to cry because I have to move from my comfy spot.
"I mean I don't mind, you're feet are surprisingly very clean and look..pedicured?"
This is actually very accurate. I love having my feet taken care of. I usually spend my Friday nights using Niall's Bridzilla's home-foot-spa and watching School of Rock. A blush rises to my cheeks, and I get up from the couch.
"Well...why were you staring at my feet, freak!?" I interject, sounding much like a middle-schooler.
"Foot fetish. Can you believe Scott!?" Her mouth drops. "Did you see that?! He was totally grinding against Kim, what the--KOURTNEYS PREGNANT!!!"
"You have a mother fu-- a foot fetish?"
She shrugs. "A bit. That probably isn't too appropriate to share though, you don't even know my name. Lol, Awk!" She moves her head in this weird way and holds out a peace sign.
"I know how to turn you on though," I smirk smugly, draping on arm over the couch, trying to find a new comfortable lounging position.
"I do too."
What's-her-face suddenly gets up and pulls out her ponytail, shaking her head wildly. "I want your pickle."
"Uhm--"
"Here, piggies," she kneels down in front of me.
Suddenly, the disgusting, fetished woman grab my foot, stoking it before licking my toes.
"RHE FUCK--"
She stops, her tongue still flat against my big toe, a sour expression holding her face.
"Uhm," she speaks without using her tongue. What-you-call-her scratches her tongue, sputters, and shakes her head, trying to rid herself of the taste.
"Uh..nevermind, I think. Your foot is very gross," she says before smoothing out her clothes and returning to her cereal on the couch.
"....you are so uncomfortable to be around."
"You realize you are welcome to leave at any time if I'm so much an inconvenience to you."
She stares at me for my next move, as I only stare back at her. Why won't I leave?
"So, then, what's is your name?"
A slight grin reaches her eyes, knowing she's won whatever contest we've just had.
"That is a bit of a complicated answer," she sighs, "My birth name is Kathryn, my family will call me Katie, as my co-workers will call me Ryn, but on occasion my mother--"
"I've lost interest, you are so annoying." I roll my eyes.
"Whatever," she smiles and picks up her cereal bowl, spooning at the flakes.
"So what would I call you?" I say, a bit of a warming smile on my face as my insides feel the same. I don't know why I'm letting such a person into my life. She's annoying as hell.
"You may call me your Slave Master," she pretends to crack a whip, accidentally spraying spit onto my ankle. I wipe it off. "If you dare."
"I'm leaving."
What the hell.
a/n:
It wouldn't let me update last time ahahahagaha kill me
I'm sorry for posting crappy chapters and making you all hate me
H8rz gunna h8
This really does have a plot I swear
YOU ARE READING
"shut up" "whatever" | l.t. au
Humora thief that's horribly clumsy and not at all very intimidating and the lazy, dim-witted girl that catches him or the one where two unlikely strangers spend their night on the couch eating cereal and talking about life.
