A Little Ray of Sunshine

Ch. 5-A Little More Than A Crush

NOTE: I have improvised Ch. 4 as I felt that it did not fully convey my thoughts. Hope you like the improvised version. 

It was a Sunday and Team was in Prem's house to give the special dessert his mother had prepared for them. He hadn't met his P' since the week he fell ill and had lots of catching up to do. At some point, the topic of their conversation shifted to Win.

"I don't know if he's doing fine. You know why he's named the ice prince, right? When we went to his home that day, he was consoling his father the whole time. He even had proper conversations with us. It has been over two years since his mother fell ill, maybe he was expecting this," Prem said in a serious tone, as he sat on his bed, dressed in house clothes. Team, who sat on the opposite corner of the bed, nodded his head in agreement and let out a sigh. To think of it, Pharm is a gentle soul and also, his mother's death was so sudden, maybe that's why he was struggling during the time. Win, on the other hand, seemed like a stronger person.

There was no sign of Win in the school for the next two weeks. Whenever thoughts about Win crept up in his mind, Team badly wanted to ask someone if he was doing fine and when he would be back. He could easily get the information from Prem. But, Team chose to put the thought at the back of his mind instead, since he hadn't told anybody of his little crush. As Team dropped his bag on his chair on a Monday morning, he heard his classmates talk in a hushed tone. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, but the familiar name in their conversation grabbed Team's attention. "P'Win is back" "Did you see him?" "He looks fine," he could hear them say. Team felt the urge to go to the floor above theirs and check by himself, but decided against it. It was definitely not a good idea when they hadn't even talked to each other properly until now. Also, he had somewhere else to go.

The interhouse swimming competitions were in two weeks. Students who win the competition would be eligible for participating in the interschool competitions to be held in October. Team was participating and therefore, had practice sessions until afternoon under Dean's supervision. He was about to change into his swimming trunks in the changing room when he heard Dean call him. "Team, go to the rooftop storeroom and bring the whistles and the swimming goggles," the swimming club president instructed while handing over the keys of the room to his junior. Team never understood why anybody would make a storeroom on the auditorium's rooftop. Climbing the large flight of metal stairs on the side of the building that led to the rooftop was always a hassle. Therefore, no one volunteered when it came to bringing equipment from the storeroom, and as usual, Dean would end up assigning the task to Team.

Team felt breathless as he reached the rooftop. He went into the storeroom to grab the necessary items, as Dean had instructed and got out to lock the door. Suddenly, Team heard a voice, more like a muffled cry. Except for getting something from the storeroom, no one actually came to the rooftop. It was a location most students hated, thanks to those countless number of narrow metal stairs. As he heard the voice again, Team thought of taking a look. He walked towards the back of the storeroom, where the sounds were coming from.

Team felt a stabbing pain in his heart when he saw the familiar blonde-haired senior sitting on the ground, his back touching the wall of the storeroom, hands grabbing his knees, and face pressing hard against his thighs. His lean body quivered and his clutch against his knees grew stronger with each sob he let out. Win looked too fragile, too vulnerable, nothing like the ice prince demeanour he is usually known to have. Team stood rooted to his spot as he watched the senior's cries grow louder. 

Team did not know what to do. If it were him, Team would want to be left alone in such situations. He despised consoling words that seemed to have zero effect on his sorrow. Prem usually sits next to him or puts his arm around Team, without uttering a word, while he cries. The fact that the senior never talks to him during those moments always made Team comfortable with Prem. If it was anyone else, he wouldn't usually appreciate their presence.

Team took a deep breath and turned to leave. But the next moment, the senior's wails stopped him in his tracks. "Maeee..." Win called out, in despair. Tears streamed from Team's eyes as he heard the heart-wrenching cry. He felt helpless. His heart ached as he realised that there was nothing he could do for the person curled up into a ball behind him. After a while, the sobs subsided. Team slowly turned to see Win still in the curled up position. Before he realised what he was doing, Team felt himself walk towards Win. He stopped just next to the senior and stared at him blankly. His mind was telling him to pull Win into a tight hug and let him drown his sorrows onto his shoulders. Instead, Team took out his handkerchief from his trouser pocket and dropped it next to Win before running out from there. Team didn't even remember how he went down the stairs. As he reached downstairs, he gasped for air and collapsed to the floor, breaking down.

Team was still sobbing, his right hand clutching his chest, when he heard somebody approach him. "Team," he heard Dean's voice, sounding concerned. Dean kneeled in front of him and held Team by his shoulders. "What happened?" he heard his senior ask, in the softest voice possible. Team shook his head in response and took a deep breath to control his sobs. He wiped his tears and got up from the position to leave, as Dean supported him. "Skip the practice for today. You can just sit and watch," Dean said, after minutes of silence, while both of them walked towards the swimming pool. Team suddenly stopped walking just before entering the building, leaving Dean confused. He turned his head towards the auditorium and stared blankly at the rooftop for a few seconds. I hope you will be okay, P'Win, please stay strong, na, Team said in his mind as he felt his eyes fill up once again. He sighed and turned, hearing Dean call him. As he continued to walk, Team realised that this wasn't just a little crush like he had thought. His feeling towards Win was more than that, a little more than a crush.