I AM MANY

Chapter 3: Tyranny

I am losing my concentration far too often these days. I'm making errors at work and giving Partho da a hard time. My sulky mood hasn't helped much either; all I do is sit all day and stare blankly at my computer, keeping human interaction down to minimum or avoiding it altogether. The dream from the other night keeps bothering me, I must find out more. I do often steal glances at Sreya and she meets my gaze at times and reciprocates by enacting a 'what?' or a 'stop staring at me'. She's smart enough to understand that I am avoiding her by now. It's only a matter of time before she starts firing questions, I better come up with a concrete explanation.

It's my weekly church day today. I avoid going on Sundays because of the crowd and Father Harshall often coaxes me for missing Sunday mass. I approached my usual bench and took a corner, looking at the mirror in search of myself. That bastard had promised to deliver me answers. I went back to staring at Christ blankly. Sitting in complete silence works as calamity suppression for my brain. Sometimes Father Harshall sits with me and tries to strike a conversation. I push him away like everyone else in my life. Today is no exception; he comes and sits next to me, pats me gently on the shoulder.

"If it isn't my feisty little boy, Emmanuel! What brings you here today?"

Nothing much Father, just some peace and quiet; God doesn't seem to be in the mood to talk to me yet. If things were in my hand, I'd have him on the hot seat like 'Who wants to be a millionaire' and ask him a ton of questions. I smirked a little.

"I know that you wish to be left alone; I can see frustration on your face. Those dark patches underneath your eyes tell me all I need to know." Said the old reverend.

"If only it were that easy." I mocked him and looked away. Realizing my mistake, I immediately asked for forgiveness for being rude.

"Don't be sorry. To err is human. When I was a young boy, I used to work at a tea estate in Munnar, Kerala. It is a fascinating place surrounded by hills, so pristine, so serene, felt like God's own country. Our tea estate was on top of a hill surrounded by lush green rainforests. My old man and I lived in a small hut on the edge of the forest with other villagers. My father taught me planting and harvesting tea. It is a very delicate crop which takes a lot of patience and affection to produce. The perfect mélange of tea needs to strike the perfect balance between flavor and liquor."

Father Harshall continued, walking deep down memory lane. " When the time came for harvesting, we kept our baskets ready at night and at the first rays of dawn when out hill top graced in golden hue, we set out gathering the first flush. I would show the occasional tourist around the tea estate to earn an extra buck. Birds, trees, butterflies...those were the days, young Emmanuel."

I honestly did not want to interrupt the old man in his merry stroll through reminiscence. Listening out his tale would be the least I could do for this kind reverend.

"Late afternoon when the sun would drop down and start hiding behind the canopy, I'd take the produce downhill to the factory and bring back vegetables and bread along the way. The factory owner was fond of me, kind old bearded man, he would give me a rupee or two bonus, that's where all the jiggery and coconut sweets came from!" He chuckled, lost completely in his past.

"At night, we would gather logs and light a fire to keep the wild animals away from our village. It kept the wild cats and other predators from entering our stables and poultries. Even after that, cattle went missing once in a while, a goat here, a sheep there. Amidst all the poverty and growing up in a secluded village, my father tried to save money for my college. He wanted to send me to Trivandrum to study medicine. I'd hug my old man and say if I leave, who'll take care of you? He'd take his locket out, a silver pendant of Jesus and wave it with pride. I have the Lord with me, when time comes he will take me with him. What do I have to fear?" Father wiped his cloudy spectacles and continued.