I AM MANY

Chapter 6 : Things get worse

It was 3am in the morning when I woke up on the toilet floor, covered with vomit with a nasty headache.

"Tut! Tut ! Tut! Look at you poor lad !" Emmanuel sat on the commode, making faces at me. That bastard! I uttered a few cuss words.

"It's not fair to throw abuses at yourself you know. Get up brother, wash your face and go to bed. Wouldn't want cockroaches to walk over your balls!" He laughed out.

I sometimes wish he never existed; this irritating, cocky alter ego of mine.

Go away. I am in no mood to entertain you now. I have enough on my mind already. I messed up with Sreya, saw a massive 14th century Japanese fuckup and I'm now lying on vomit in the toilet for fuck's sake! I threw a lot many abuses at him...err...me...no....him again.

"So you expect me to shower sympathy on you? You're the one who wanted to explore this mumbo jumbo alternate existence shit!" he said. "I can't help you now bro, two down; more to go. I'll be back to spook you anytime!"

He winked and vanished as my slangs faded.

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A few days have passed since then, things have improved for me a bit. Sreya has taken a few days off from work for a family trip (at least that's what Partho da told me). My friendly neighborhood alter ego hasn't paid me a visit since then and Father Harshall's heart to heart sessions have made me cheerful.

It's Diwali tomorrow; India's very own festival of lights and sounds; pomp and splendor. In Bengal however, it is the occasion of Kali Puja, worship of Goddess Kali. This day celebrates the victory of good over evil; light over darkness. Goddess Kali, though fierce in appearance and a dweller of cremation grounds, is widely regarded as a kind and benevolent mother. Hinduism has fascinated me since I was a little boy. My father was an enthusiast as well. He wouldn't think twice before entering a Muslim mosque or a Hindu temple and had equal respect for all religions. He admired the diversity of India's religious palette and took me often to trips across the country. From temples in Haridwar, to Haji Ali Dargah in Mumbai to a Synagogue in Kerala, I've had the opportunity to witness the corpulence of India's religious riches.

So today, on the occasion of Kali puja, I've been granted a holiday by our company. I have decided to enjoy a quiet day off in bed with some food and a beer. Maybe I'll go to the balcony at night to see the crackers bursting in the sky. From Morning itself, I'm having flashbacks of my trip to Haridwar as a tenth standard kid. I remember lamps floating on the Ganges, naked saints teeming at the Har-ki-Pouri, chants of mantras, that dark alley, that small red temple....

The day wears on and darkness descends. The city dressed in jewels has embraced the occasion of lights and sounds. Colossal celebrations have set in. I sit alone on my bed, engrossed in thoughts; dwelling in past occurrences, back in Haridwar as a teenager. Sleep descends on my eyes.

Later tonight, I have a train to Lucknow. Dad is busy packing, I might as well go for an evening stroll. Let's find some gypsies and ask for some pot! The streets here are teeming with them. I would've asked for a puff earlier if dad hadn't been firm on my trail.

I walked along the banks of the Ganges, passing Viswakarma ghat. With my nose hot on trail of the smell of marijuana. I turned left and entered a dark alleyway, my sniffer dog instincts at full throttle. There was a hand-pulled rickshaw with its' puller and a Baba (Hindu sage) sitting on the rickshaw crushing some weed for a pot. The sweet enticing smell of ganja lingered in the heavy winter air. I timidly approached the Baba dressed in a red cloth and touched his feet.