love & war | anakin skywalker

chapter two

THE CHOSEN ONE

"Doubt, I sense in you, young Padawan." said Master Yoda.

"It's nothing." I insisted, as calmly as a person can 'insist' anything, "I'm just a little worried about something."

I hadn't had a private meditation session with Yoda in over a decade. But on my own master's advice, I had agreed to meet with him, and it was with some foreboding that I entered that room after so many years. It was queasily nostalgic.

Even so, once I had actually eased into the meditation, I found great comfort in sitting there with Master Yoda once again. Consolement, even. Perhaps it was Master Yoda's force signature, so instantly recognisable it seemed to embrace me. Casting my mind back, I remembered this feeling well from my childhood sessions; the pure trust that seemed to radiate from that room, how it could somehow calm the fidgety mind of an infant.

"See through you, I can. You worry for your training." returned Master Yoda. My reverie was broken.

Of course, he was right. It had been three long weeks since the infamous abduction of Master Windu and now we had discovered his location, a discreet rescue team was to be dispatched immediately. This rescue team consisted of my own master, Master Silvos, and a slightly junior knight named Blithe Dane. I am ashamed to say I remember little about the man, other than he was a cheerful young Jedi, who had only recently been knighted, and was eager for adventure. I had received news of this rescue mission only an hour prior to my meditation with Yoda.

And upon hearing this news, I quickly drew the alarming conclusion that I would be left at the temple without a master for a prolonged length of time. Master Silvos had promised it would only last a few days, but I recalled past missions had lasted many months longer than expected, and that shadow of doubt played on my mind. I cursed this rescue mission for occurring so untimely. These final years of training as a Padawan were crucial, and I feared this sudden interruption would be terribly detrimental to my progress. I was anxious at the thought of being left in the unfamiliar hands of Obi-Wan Kenobi (my master had apparently requested Kenobi specifically). My heart sank to my gut, as I envisioned my years of arduous training disintegrating before my very eyes.

"Trust in Master Kenobi, young Padawan. A respectable Jedi, he is." concluded Master Yoda.

And again, the wise Grand-Master was objectively correct. It was bordering on hubristic of me to doubt Kenobi's abilities; I had never questioned the Jedi Order for a moment, and since Obi-Wan was the living embodiment of it, I should have been paying him the same credence.

Our session was adjourned. It was time to face the music and meet with my interim Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I had been instructed to meet him at the Situation room, and though it was only a short distance away, the journey seemed to drag on for hours, as I desperately tried to command my scattered anxieties and heed Master Yoda's advice.

Sure enough, Master Kenobi was already present and anticipating my arrival by the time I got there. Anakin was standing to his left, his head tipped slightly downwards, so his gaze fell comfortably at his feet. He looked remarkably disinterested in the whole event. The sudden instinct to apologise washed over me like a flood, and I managed to stutter out some jargon to the effect that I was truly sorry for my tardiness. Master Kenobi simply lifted his hand, as if he was performing some Jedi mind trick, and my momentary guilt disappeared.

"Think nothing of it, Padawan. Anakin and I opted to take precautions and set off a little early." he assured me.

Anakin lifted his gaze and looked archly in my direction. It was the first time he had willfully locked eyes with me, so when he finally did, it hit me all the harder. It was an intense, unashamed gaze, which he was too stubborn to break. I took a small step back on my heel, feeling like the air had been punched out of my lungs, and forced my eyes back to Master Kenobi.