Smile For Me (Student/Teacher)

Mine

"Do you remember when we went to your sister's New Years party?" I asked him softly, feeling tucked snug in his embrace.

He didn't reply as he was sobbing like a sweet child. "Do you remember the way you looked at me when the fireworks were going off?" He still said nothing. "That night, I felt like the most beautiful person because of you. Because of the way you spoke to me, and kissed me."

I brushed his hair back, not sure why I was bringing that up, but knowing the memory was replacing the one that was causing him to crumble, and he looked at me.

"I hated myself so much for doing what I was doing to you and Andy, but you made me feel like I deserved you. I wish you could see sometimes, how you make me feel. I know you don't love yourself enough, Charlie, and that hurts me. I love everything about you, and I wish you could see what I see when I look at you."

His sweet eyes read mine, and he looked embarrassed- so I hugged him closer. "What do you see?"

I smiled, feeling so lucky I get to describe him to himself out loud. "I see a handsome man, incredibly handsome, with glares that could kill," He looked confused. "And mouth that often pouts," I touched his lovely lips, and he looked even more confused- almost a little offended. "But the man who I met the first day of school, the mean and angry asshole, he loves me. You are the funniest man I know, the most gentle one, and so caring. You may be a grump, but Charlie you are so gentle, and you don't see how kind and caring you are. You only see what I knew in the beginning, the fury and the pain. I see your love and that beautiful light that shows up in your eyes when you laugh. You helped me save my friend from dying, you went out and bought me ice cream the first time I ate lunch at your house, you were going to give me your ancestor's garden, even if I didn't finish your shelves."

Charlie seemed to ease up, and I finally saw a look of comfort, something that made him rest back in exhaustion in his own skin. It was one of the few times I've seen it, and for a fact- I knew he was for the first time considering the good in himself.

"You are kind, and gentle, and you have a caring heart. Your family sees that, too. When we go over there, and you say the same thing about wondering why they care when you weren't ever nice to them, they care because you are a beautiful man. I fell in love with you, Charlie."

He released me to let out a sigh against the door and I let him stare, observe, admire. I felt beautiful to him. "This," He began with soft fingers in my hair, "This is why I'm in love with you." He said with a soft chuckle, recovering from him crying.

I smiled back at him. "Not 'cause of my charm and good looks?" I joked.

He grinned, beginning to laugh. His mother knocked on his door. "Chance, let me speak with you." She pleaded kindly.

He scratched his head uncomfortably, and walked towards the bathroom. "Hold on." He motioned for me to stall her and I did so, but as he disappeared into the bathroom, and I opened the door, his mother gave me a big unexpected hug. It was friendly, it was family.

"You sweet, sweet girl." She squeezed me, and I hugged her back. I welcomed the embrace of a mother, and it felt- strangely familiar. Soothing. I closed my eyes. "Oh, why the hell did I want you away from Chance?"

Because I was a whore.

"I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, Karla. I'm sorry, too."

"Well, we all make mistakes, honey." She said, pulling back to look at me.

It wasn't just a mistake. Cheating is a mistake- not an accident, but a mistake. Loving someone else. How could that be considered a mistake? When will what I feel for Andy go away?