I Think I Love You | Randy

track 25. just the way you are - billy joel

I took the good times; I'll take the bad times. I'll take you just the way you are.

***

Over the next few weeks there were a lot more moments that lead to nothing. Living on the edge was my new normal with Rye, never sure when I was finally going to give in but knowing I probably would at some point. It was merely a question of when, but I had no indication as to what might trigger me to feel safe enough to let myself go there with him. Every heart-stopping almost kiss seemed to terrify me more than the last.

One such moment happened when Rye completed his final exam. He was relatively confident he had passed but was still nervous, his poor academic record meaning his fate was very much in the university's hands at this point. Still, I was bursting with pride when I hugged him, certain for a fleeting moment that I was going to launch myself at him without regard for the consequences, so giddy on the thrill of the moment. But when my heart started racing in that way it always did around him, that sickening feeling overtook me again, the part of me that I was ashamed to admit wasn't ready to trust him yet. Healing took time, and though we were both getting impatient, he never rushed me. I was grateful for that.

My last exam fell on Valentine's Day, a secret relief flooding me when I realised I would be spending the romantic holiday bent over a desk instead of in his company. Each day I was creeping closer and closer to that edge, letting a little more flirting happen, a little more touching. I was grateful that today I could be out of the apartment, avoiding any Cupids that might have been waiting there to ambush me.

"Andy!" a voice called as I filed out of my exam hall, seeing Brook jogging towards me.

"Hey," I said, giving him a hug. I hadn't seen him for a few weeks- not that I was intentionally avoiding him, but everyone had been caught up with exams.

"Was that your last one?"

"Yeah," I told him. "You too?"

"Yes, thank God." I smiled at him, understanding the feeling. "A little birdy told me your birthday's coming up." It was in two days time, Rye and I having been born within less than a month of each other.

"A little birdy?"

"Your boy's been freaking out over what to do for you."

I frowned at his word choice. "He's not my boy."

"Then how'd you know who I was talking about?" Brook smirked back.

"Alright, you got me." I let out an insecure laugh. Not only was it slightly strange to have my ex boyfriend talking about the potential for me to be with Rye so enthusiastically, I was also surprised Rye had reached out to him. "Did you give him good advice?"

"Oh yeah," Brook grinned. "We're going out tomorrow night. All of us."

"That being..?"

"Me, Jack, Liv, Rye and you," he said, rolling his eyes as if to say who else? "We haven't caught up since the after party."

"That... actually sounds fun." It had been a long few weeks of study and sexually charged cabin fever. I was well overdue for a blow out.

"You haven't even heard the best part yet," Brook went on. I looked at him questioningly while he paused for dramatic effect. "We're doing karaoke."