I Think I Love You | Randy

track 33. wild world - cat stevens

A lot of nice things turn bad out there.

***

Olivia punched the glove box of her car as I drove her to hospital. "Stupid idiot!" she cursed. "Didn't I tell him this would fucking happen?"

"He'll be okay, Liv." I grasped her hand, wishing I could have more confidence in my words.

"You don't know that, Andy," she sobbed, but clutched my hand tightly all the same.

Only family was allowed in to see Sonny when we arrived at the hospital, so I sat in a waiting area while Olivia went through with the nurse. I had no clue how serious Sonny's condition was. He wasn't exactly a close friend of mine but I still felt a sickening sense of responsibility for the actions he had decided to take. I was worried for him, and I was worried for Liv who had no other real family. The longer I sat and waited the more that worry grew.

As much as I hated to give in, now wasn't the time to fuss about my personal shit, so I called Rye. He would want to be there for Sonny too, and I couldn't stand to sit here alone a moment longer. Despite it being well after midnight, he picked up on the second ring.

"Andy?"

"You need to listen to me," I said, proceeding to tell him what had happened and where I was.

"I'm on my way," he said before hanging up. I relaxed back into my seat, hugging my knees up to my chest.

I saw him half an hour or so later, looking lost at the reception desk. It had been a week since I'd last seen his face, and now it brought back all the memories. The sex, the fight, the crying on my bedroom floor. I'd almost forgotten how beautiful he was. How much I'd missed him.

He caught sight of me and made his way over, anxiety marring his perfect features. He opened his arms and I flew straight into them, everything rising to the surface as I finally allowed myself to cry for the first time this evening. He rocked me and stroked my hair, having no idea that his comfort made everything worse, not better.

"Have you heard anything?" he asked when I calmed down. "The nurse said family only until he's stable. What does that mean?"

"I know as much as you," I told him. "Olivia's been in there for the past couple of hours."

"How did they find him?" Rye asked. "He'd been so careful."

My face crumpled up again with guilt. "He found them."

Rye looked confused, and I lead him over to the seats so I could tell him the full story.

"It doesn't make sense," Rye said, struggling to come to grips with everything I'd said. "He's not even close with Jack, why would he risk it?"

I could only guess at that, but I had my suspicions. "I think he was just trying to do the right thing."

"He wanted to be good," Rye realised, the truth dawning on him. "Good enough for me. Which is fucking ridiculous because I-"

"We don't know anything for certain," I cut him off before he could start blaming himself. Rye just nodded.

"Are you okay?"

"Me?" I was the last person who needed his concern right now. Besides, my not being okay was mostly due to selfish reasons which weren't important given the current situation. I shook off the question. "I'm just waiting for news."

"Do you need to sleep?"

"I can wait."

"I'll wake you up as soon as somebody comes out."