The One Where It's More Than a Break

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-Zadie's Dorm-
Zadie's POV:

"Hey, do you know anything about Jonathon Swift's 'A Modest Proposal'?" I asked my roommate.

She shook her head, "No, I don't. Sorry. I think I'm going out for a bit. Do you need anything?"

I shook my head, "I'm good, but thanks for asking."

Reese shut the door, and not ten minutes later, there was a quiet knock. "Zadie, it's me."

"Door's unlocked," I called. Chase walked in, quickly shutting the door behind him. "Hey, what do you know about Jonathon Swift's 'A Modest Proposal'? We have to write about it for class." When he didn't respond, I knew something was up. I put my laptop to the side, and asked, "Chase, what's wrong?"

"You're gonna hate me." 

I raised an eyebrow. This was not typical Chase behavior. He was nervous in a way I had never seen him before. It was almost like it wasn't Chase at all. 

"What? I could never ha-" 

"I cheated on you." He blurted.

Maybe I could.

I remained silent as he tried to save himself. "There was this girl at the library. I never meant for anything to happen, but it just got out of hand."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I am so sorry."

He's sorry?

"You're serious right now?" I shook my head, clenching my jaw to hold back tears.

"Zadie, please, how can I make this up to you?"

"Make this up? Are you fucking stupid?" I stood up, "You seriously think you can make this right? We've been together five years. Has that not meant shit to you?"

"It's not like that."

"What was her name?"

"Wh-What?"

"What was her fucking name, Chase?"

"I'm not-" He let out a breath, "I don't remember."

I scoffed, "Bullshit."

"I'm-"

"I think it's best you leave."

He sighed, "Z-"

"I said leave, Chase!"

"Can we please just talk?"

"We just did, but frankly, I'm tired of hearing the actual bullshit you're saying right now. You threw away five fucking years. After everything we've been through, and you hook up with some... some bitch? The number of times I stood by your side when no one else did?" By this point I was yelling, probably louder than I realized. "Unless someone's fucking dying, I don't want to see your face again."

I haven't felt this kind of heartbreak since the time I thought he was dead, and now, I want to kill him. 

"Zadie, I-"

"Just leave! Okay? Get. Out." I snapped. He was about to say something else, but instead, he left. Like, he actually left. I know I told him to, but...I don't know. I mean, I guess I expected him to fight longer. 

5 years. 

5 years filled with the craziest memories. 5 years I can't get back. 5 years wasted on some other girl.

Just Monday we were talking about moving in together. He had a ring. 

I mean, all I could think of were the countless good times we had. Our first dance, the friendate, the stupid school llama, not to mention the school ghost, or even the time he faked proposed for free dessert. The missions we went on together, how he was there when my dad died, how every time that we thought we lost each other, we always came back. 

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