Vanessa [A Poor Unfortunate Soul]

33. Turning it Off

The pale and lifeless moonlight seemed dull, compared to the one in Neverland. Everything seemed more vibrant and alive there. It lulled Vanessa into a false sense of security, which allowed her to commit to the unthinkable. A sin to herself. Her soul. A betrayal she could never forgive.

The couch creaked under her as she tossed and turned to find a slightly more comfortable spot. This time it was the fault of the surface, providing less than lackluster comfort. Not that it mattered. Not that anything mattered. Without love in the world, what was the point of living?

Was not feeling this pain, this welt over her heart worth it? Perhaps it was, she thought. But was it worth it to not feel love when seeing a dog? Reuniting with her brothers? It had to be.

"Once its off there's no going back." Derek's words hit like stones on her tender skin. The bright sun stung her eyes as it broke through the reflective windows of the apartment. 

"There is." Isaac said from his usual spot. The medium sized chair in the middle of the room. "Tell her everything." 

His sigh said everything. He was of the opinion that Vanessa should keep her emotions and move on naturally. Though he was too polite to say so.

"Fine." Derek sighed. "There is a way back. But its terrible. Think, the way you feel now but magnified to a thousand. Seldom does anybody turn it off and live through the pain of turning it back on."

"Will I forget him?" Vanessa asked, determined. 

"That's the crappy part." Isaac said and poured himself a cup of milk from the pipkin. "You'll still remember everything. Or so I've heard."

"Yes." Derek said and glanced over to Isaac with a disapproving scowl. "You will remember everything. You'll remember falling in love, you'll remember the pain of losing it. You just won't feel it anymore."

"So I'd be walking around blind and dumb to my own emotions?" Vanessa asked.

"Not necessarily." Derek said folding his fingers. Isaac remained silent. "You'll have complete control over yourself. You'll be powerful, unstoppable, and no longer afraid of anything."

"How do I do it?" Vanessa asked and sat up. Isaac sighed again, but didn't say anything.

"Focus in on your pain." Derek said and put his hand over her eyes, instructing her to close them. "Center in on the feelings for your pirate. How does it feel that your existence brings him pain?"

"It makes me want to kill myself." Vanessa muttered, gritting her teeth.

"Turn that anger around." Derek instructed. "Everything that brought you pain, use it as strength to fight back. How Finnick turned his back on you, all those times Master Frollo couldn't contain himself."

"I want them to suffer." Vanessa spoke through her teeth and her own words surprised her.

 Something else was taking over, like she was falling into a deep sleep and allowed an autopilot to lead the way. 

"Make them." Derek said. "Close in on that pain like its your prey, and you've fasted for weeks. Make it your bitch."

When Vanessa opened her eyes again, all she saw was fear in Derek's eyes, like he was looking at a stranger.

The thought of Jakob was nothing but numb, a cushy emotion, like Novocain rushing through her veins. 

"How do you feel?" Isaac asked, he seemed genuinely concerned.

Vanessa thought for a moment and pushed her lips together. 

"Free." Even her voice sounded different, more confident. Her French accent was depleted, like a snake shedding its skin. No longer needed.

As if on cue, the door to the apartment swung open. None other than the witch herself burst through the rickety old wooden door. 

"If we get anymore witches in here, we'll have to start a coven." Isaac said and swigged his milk.

"Isaac." Morgana said with a smirk and shut the door behind her. 

The old bitty did seem to have a few tricks up her metaphorical sleeve. She strutted into the apartment on two human legs, not that it was as impressive as the heels she donned. They gave at least another two inches to her already tall stature. Her skin was no longer a pale green pigment, instead it was a neutral pale white. "Was there something pressing, Derek? I have business to attend to."

She stopped in her tracks when she saw Vanessa.

"Perhaps your niece could help in your business." Derek said and stood up from the couch.

"I thought she was dead as her mother." Morgana said.

"Ditto." Vanessa replied with a smirk.

"How has her magic grown lately?" Morgana asked and crossed her arms. "Because my business does require a bit."

"Maybe you could stop talking about me like I'm not here." Vanessa said and stood up. 

"Very well." Morgana said and turned to meet her eyes. "One of my other nieces is in need of some magical assistance, transforming her daughter human."

"You don't have that power yourself?" Vanessa asked. 

"Of course I do." She replied sharply. "What I want to know is, if you do."