Haikyuu!! One-Shots

I'll Give It a Try [TsukkiYama]

Part 2 to Over It

     "I don't even know what to do anymore~!" I groan. 

     Hinata sighs. "Apologize. That's what you do. You sound sorry enough, just go say it! You want to make up with him, right?" 

     "Yeah. I just don't know how I can apologize because I meant it. I resented Tsukki for a long time. I thought he was my friend, but all he did was berate me for not being able to stand up for myself. But he also protected me and I don't know anymore. Maybe I should ask Suga-san." I leaned over and looked at Hinata's paper. He actually had most of the answers right for once.  We were supposed to be studying, but I just couldn't stop thinking about how badly I snapped. 

     Yachi looked up from her textbook. "I think you should ask Suga-san. He's better at giving advice than either of us are." She pointed at one of the problems. "I'd recheck that one." 

     "Oh, thanks." I erase the answer and redo the problem. 

+++

     The week passed and I still couldn't bring myself to even talk to Tsukki. It's not like me to procrastinate on anything, but here I am, avoiding him like the plague. I can't help but see myself as him. I'd feel awful if it was me. Whenever I pass him in the hallway, he glances at me and looks like he's gonna say something, but he never does. 

     I don't even know what might be the right time to apologize. He always seems to keep himself busy with something. I can never get a hold of him during a free moment. Even if it's just a lie to avoid me, I don't want to accidentally interrupt him if he actually is doing something important. It's my own damn fault he's avoiding me, but it's frustrating to no end. 

     "He's dodging me. He's always busy doing something." I rest my head on the desk. Hinata pats my head sympathetically. "It's my fault for snapping at him, so I shouldn't even be upset that he's avoiding me now." 

     "You should just grab him after practice. He doesn't leave right away," Hinata states in between bites.

     "If you really wanna make sure you can grab him, maybe ask him for a favor?" Yachi suggests. "I could ask Daichi to assign you to cleaning duty together." 

     "No thanks. That would mess up the rotation." I lift my head and stare at my lunch. Ugh. I don't even wanna eat. I gotta do something soon. "Hey Hinata, do you want my egg? I'm not hungry." 

     Hinata and Yachi spend the rest of lunch trying to give me suggestions on how I can talk to Tsukki and apologize properly. They both gave good advice. I don't know what I'd do without them or what I did to deserve good friends like them. Lunch flies by and suddenly I'm back in class, trying to ignore the fact that Tsukki is sitting two seats across from me. 

     Come on, Tadashi, you can do it. You can do it. He looks so sad. It's my fault he looks so sad and it's my fault he's sad. Just talk to him after practice. Simple as that. I don't want him to look like that anymore. Maybe we can walk home together again after I apologize. That would be nice. 

     "Yamaguchi-kun?" 

     "Ah, yes?" 

     "What's the answer to number 26?" 

     I glance at my paper. Right, I'm supposed to be paying attention to math right now. It's a simple equation. "Uh, 81." 

     "Correct." 

     Soon enough, class is out and it's time to practice. I hurry to the gym and get changed quickly to lower the chances that I'll run into Tsukki. I don't know why, but the thought of seeing him without anyone else around sent a shiver up my spine. I wasn't ready. Hell, I don't even know what I'm gonna say to him. Yachi told me to just be honest, but I was honest and that's how we got here in the first place. Hinata gave me a nudge on the way in. They're behind me. 

     Tsukki keeps to himself as much as he can during practice. I only heard him make a few snide remarks at Kageyama. He'd glance around at people before returning to whatever he was doing. Very un Tsukki-like. I felt bad for him, which sounds wrong coming from me. Seeing him by himself made me realize that he didn't really get on with a lot of the people on the team. Maybe he felt out of place. I'm probably just overthinking like usual. Practice is over much faster than I would have liked. 

     No more putting it off, coward, I chide myself. Hinata and Nishinoya are on cleaning duty. Yachi gives me a small smile before she leaves. It's just up to me now. I get lucky and catch him before he's even reached the gate. 

     "Hey, Tsukki! Can we talk for a second?" I yell. Despite the fact that he already had his headphones on, he turned and looked at me. "Let's go somewhere a little more private." 

     Tsukishima followed me to around the back of the school. His expression was bored, but his eyes darted around nervously. I wondered what he had to be nervous about. I'm the last person he should be acting this way around. 

     "Right, so I'm not gonna beat around the bush. I'm sorry for snapping at you when you didn't do anything wrong." I bow. "I'm sorry." 

     "Ah..." 

     I look up at him. His expression changed into something totally unreadable. I didn't have anything else to say, but it felt wrong to leave. I don't know why I didn't just turn around and walk away. We stood in silence for a long time. 

     "Yamaguchi." I flinched at his voice, hoping he didn't notice. 

     "Yes?" 

     "Wait, nevermind." 

     "What is it, Tsukki?" I tilt my head. I still can't read his expression at all. It's kinda unnerving cause I can't tell if he's mad at me or what. 

     "Nevermind." Tsukki shook his head quickly. "Thanks for apologizing, but I wasn't mad." 

     "If you're gonna say something, just say it," I suddenly snap. That's probably why he's been acting so weird. He's never been one to say what he was thinking. I've never been able to get him to open up, but I'm hoping my prodding will finally work. "You won't look stupid for saying what's on your mind. I promise." 

     Tsukishima stares at me like a deer in the headlights. He took a deep breath. "I was just thinking about when we were kids. I always wondered how you couldn't stand up to the asshats that liked to bully you all the time and that's why I initially started talking to you in the first place. I wanted to see you stand up for yourself so I tried to do that in the best way I knew how to, which was just more berating. Thinking about it now that was probably the last thing you needed at that point, but it's too late to change any of that and hindsight is 20/20. When you snapped at me I realized that I never once stopped to consider your actual feelings in any of this. I always just thought you were happier because after a while people stopped bothering you. Maybe it comes off like I don't want you around but it's so weird walking home alone now." 

     He said all of that in one big stream, barely pausing at all.  I could barely keep up with what he was saying. It was also a tone I'd never heard from him before, almost apologetic but not quite. At least he opened up to me. There were a few times I wondered if he even had emotions because all I ever got was sarcasm and snide remarks. 

     "Tsukki, thank you. It's kinda nice to hear you say that." 

     "It is?"

     "I think I convinced myself that you didn't care," I admitted. "So I'm glad that I was wrong." My face was starting to hurt I was smiling so wide. Tsukki was smiling a little too. 

     "Hey, Yamaguchi..." 

     "Yes, Tsukki?" 

     "Can you... can you walk home with me?"