Ivy League

Please Just Let Me Go

The exhaustion continued to sweep over my unconcious sleeping body, pulling at my insides. I don't think, no, I know i've only ever been this exhausted once after Jeffery left. I pushed the memory away along with the sheets and got up. 

The sunlight coming in through the window did nothing to improve my mood, possibly a shower would. Flicking the bathroom light on I was shocked by my appearance in the mirror. My eyes dull and sunken, my cheekbones higher are sharper, my whole body had the life sucked out of it. 

Even after all this time after Jeffery left, he is still wrecking havoc on my life. The shop was running well, I was pretty much just a silent owner, Steph was doing a wonderful job mangaging it all without me, it was like being on a permenant holiday. Mr. Roberts continued to give me leave. I tried to go to work a few weeks ago, he stopped me from walking into the building and told me i looked like i needed more rest.

This gave me more time to work on my blog, i'd recieved a lot of positive feed back lately because of my petition to gain freedom for marine animals trapped in captivity. Joshua and i were organising a protest infront of Seaworld for the weekend, the time had really gotten away from me with the planning. Lucky Josh covered for me and he had everything all sorted, all i had to do was show up. 

After reading the letter Jay wrote for me,  the second one sat there tormenting me, begging me to open it. I had refrained. It tormented me beyond belief. The handwriting on the enveope didn't match the first one, It had to be Jay sending it, no one else knows where i live. 

Curiousity got the better of me, i ripped open the paper;

Baby,

I've been trying to find you for such a long time now, you were always so good at playing hide and seek. The boys said they haven't heard from you either. 

I miss you, now that i've found you i'll come visit and we can be back to normal together. I'm sorry i left you, i really had no choice. They threatened me with hurting you if i stayed.

i'll see you soon

Jeff

my heart froze in my chest, there was no way i had a pulse right now. Jeffery found me. Fuck. There's no where i can hide, he knows i'm here. Maybe if i opened the letter when it first arrived i would be able to run. The door bell rang piercing through the silence. I stood still, only my breathing able to be heard. 

i opened the door slowly, preparing myself mentally to run if i need to.

"Ivy, please don't slam the door in my face."

"Jay, what do you want?"

"Please Ivy just hear me out, give me five minutes."

"You have two." I said opening the door wider, Jay walked through the doorway and sat on the couch.

"I've been so worried about you, Joan wouldn't tell me anything."

"One minute left." 

"Ivy please just listen to me. I care about you but you can't just kick me out when i want to talk about something you don't."

"You think i just don't want to talk abotu what those men did to me, Jay? you're a fucking idiot if you think bringing it up is going to be okay."

"What did they do to you?" he asked standing up.

"It's none of your goddamn business, why can't you just leave me the fuck alone?" i screamed.

"Because i care way to much to walk out on you.I'm not going to leave you."

The flashbacks poured into my mind, freezing my heart once again. Closing my eyes trying to repress it further. 

'Baby, I'm not going to leave you, i love you too much. But you need to stop pushing me and sayig the wrong things. If you could just shut up i wouldn't need to hit you anymore.

"Just stop." i said out loud. 

"Ivy please, just listen to me." Jay said quietly.

'Ivy, come here," Jeffery asked me, I followed his voice to the kitchen, 'You forgot to pick up my beer again." Jeffery growled grabbing my arm, 'You stupid bitch, you said you would get it." Throwing me to the floor.

"Please Jeffery, i didn't mean to forget. I'll go get it now." tears streaming down my face, dropping to the floor. I was stuck in my memory, forced to relive it again. 

"Ivy, what are you taling about?" Jay asked coming closer to me.

"Please, please don't hurt me, let me go." I cried.

"Ivy, what's happening?"

"He's coming for me, please Jeffery, let me go." My cries got more frantic. 

"Ivy there's no one here, it's just me." 

"No, please don't." 

'You're a silly bitch, pathetic, why do i even put up with you.' Jeffery said kicking my stomach.

coughing through my sobbing, 'Jeffery please,' i craddled my stomach, thinking of the life inside i was trying to protect. 

"No my baby. Please just let me go." I cried laying on the floor in my apartment. Jay wrapped his arms around me,

"Shh, it'll be okay." out of the corner of my eye i saw the door open again, Joan.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Joan asked. 

"I think we need to get her to see a doctor." Jay replied. 

I blacked out. my baby.