🗸 the quintessences of cherry & cigarette

4.7: paroxysm

As Sunday rolls around, Devin has the least interest in getting out of bed. He sees no point in it; it's off-day for him at The Brewery, Cerise is grounded so he cannot make any plans with her. There's nothing to do. Well, he can do his homework, or do his laundry, or restock on groceries - come to think of it, there's a lot of chores that need to be done around the house since Ray is being a fucking cunt and a sloth. Only trouble; Devin feels no drive, no motivation to deal with anything.

Ultimately, he grabs his phone from the nightstand and opens his messages. The last text is from Cerise's number, reading "Goodnight" from when they had chatted briefly yesterday evening. He shoots her a text asking if she's awake yet and what her plans for today are.

Then, with the utmost difficulty, he finds it in himself to get out of bed and start the day. Devin begins with cleaning his room first, then straightens and tidies up the rest of the dilapidated house as best as he can. The sporadic exchanging of texts with Cerise make it all bearable. Later, he goes grocery shopping at Matheson's, every aisle making him wonder which products were stacked and arranged by her - there is an absurd sense of comfort in these thoughts.

Somehow, Sunday burns by using all of Devin's patience as fuel. He reaches school on Monday expecting to see Cerise, until her absence opens a void in him and his spirits sink like rocks in water. He tries to replace his sunken spirits with the chemical spirit in his beer canister, but to no avail. It has become painful, this unending separation from Cerise. With three more sickening periods left until school goes out, Devin packs his canister, hauls up his backpack, and grinds his teeth to soldier through the rest of the day.

After school, instead of heading home, he takes the route to Cerise's place. And five minutes later, he is strolling around her neighborhood, speculating if the absence of vehicles in the driveway means that he is on the clear to go meet Cerise. A long while of deliberating and worrying, Devin is thankfully able to come up with an ingenuous action plan.

He will go to that house, knock on the door, and if either of her parents answer, he will play the partner assigned to Cerise for a Chemistry project who's only here to deliver notes and her end of the assignment.

Yes. That's a good lie. Resolve cemented, Devin finally knocks on the eggshell-white door. Moments later, it opens to reveal Cerise. Dressed in pajama bottoms and a sweater that's two sizes too large, hair piled on top of her head in a bun, bags under her eyes - she still takes his breath away.

"Devin," she intones, clearly startled. "What... what are you doing here?"

Devin doesn't miss the furtive glance she casts around beyond the porch. He was so focused on preparing for his encounter with Jennifer or Christian that he forgot to think of an excuse to explain his unannounced appearance at her doorstep to her. "Uh," he falters, "hey..."

"Hey," Cerise responds.

Before the situation becomes awkward, Devin slings forward his bag and takes out his notebooks. Handing them to her, he says, "I just dropped by to give you some notes."

"Oh..." There's a hint of disappointment in her voice, but he may have imagined it. "Thanks."

"Yeah..." he mumbles. Feeling like he has drawn out the syllable for too long, he adds, "well, mid-terms are coming up. You really don't wanna lag behind the syllabus."

"Thanks. This is so very considerate of you." Cerise beams at him; Devin's heartbeat has an odd hiccup.

He shrugs, raking a hand through his hair. "Yeah, no biggie. That's what friends are for." As the quietude weighs down on them, and Cerise looks about her neighborhood again, Devin decides not to make things any more uncomfortable and take his leave. "Okay, then," he says, pivoting on his heel. The purpose of his visit is fulfilled - Cerise is healthy and unharmed.