I'm Sorry (Not Really)

Chapter Seven

Ten Minutes.

Reset the clock,

Until you can't.

And the clock is quiet,

Forevermore.

~A. F.

          I wasn't just running anywhere though, I was running to Samuel. It took him a few seconds to realize I was heading his way and once he did he turned and hurried a little too quickly around the corner causing him to slip slightly. I had the urge to call out to him but instead, I settled for just pursed my lips so I don't make a fool out of myself.

          What do I care if he's upset? Why am I chasing after him when I should be getting in good with the girls... when I should find one of them to ask out for popularity points... this is irrational.

          I rounded the corner and saw him panting against the far wall. His head was tilted back against the grey stone of the school walls, the red hair a striking contrast to the muted colors around him. He hadn't seemed to notice me yet and was searching through the pockets of his jeans, head still tipped up. I saw a brief look of panic cross his face before he finally looked down, rifling through the objects he took out of his pocket. He must not have found what he was looking for because his eyes widened and he slowly sat down, pressing a hand to his chest wincing ever so slightly. What struck me was that he was still breathing heavily, to the point he was heaving. I noticed his shoulders were moving up and down with each breath, his chest contracting with the effort to breath, this led to me realizing the signs of an asthma attack I cleared my throat.

          Samuel jumped ever so slightly and glanced at me curtly before making a show of ignoring me, chest still heaving.

          "Samuel- Sam," I took to the nickname for more intimate purposes, I knelt in front of him. He moved to get up and I pushed his shoulder back against the wall firmly, "You have asthma don't you?" He still refused to look at me but nodded ever so slightly, "You're heaving, you need an inhaler or something."

          "I-" He barely spoke before erupting in a fit of wheezing coughs, the sound, and sight of which made my chest contract and my throat close up with an unknown feeling. Worry maybe?

          "Can you walk?" I didn't give him a chance to respond before standing up and picking him up bridal style, "You need to go to the nurse now before this gets any worse." Samuel tried to refuse but was once again unable to talk and seemed to give up for he pressed his head into my shoulder and let me carry him without much of a fight. His soft hair pressed against the bare skin of my arm made me want to shiver from the sensation, in different circumstances, this could end up a lot more pleasurable for both of us.

          I took long strides, practically skipping because of how briskly my legs were moving. It was not even five minutes later when we had made it to the nurse's office, at this point Samuel was heaving worse. I didn't bother knocking and instead opened the door and rushed in, setting him down on the recliner situated next to the door, usually reserved for students who complain of a headache or stomach ache but can't go home for lack of fever.

          "Who-?" The nurse looked at us from her computer desk startled, her eyes swept over me and landed on Samuel's wheezing person, she seemed to understand what was going on at this point and lept up from her desk going to the necessary cabinets while asking questions, "Names? Asthma attack?"

          I answered automatically, not that I think Samuel is in much shape to answer anyway, "Samuel Ryan, an exchange student. Yes, an asthma attack. I'm Thomas Grendel." She didn't say anything and rushed over to Samuel, making him sit up and use an inhaler. I watched as he breathed in, held it, and finally breathed out. She made him do it once more and his shoulders stopped contracting.

          A breath I didn't know I'd held in was released and I allowed my gaze to trail around the room for my usual inspection. Looking at the nurse's computer I learned her name is Synthia Barbro, she's not married given the lack of ring on her finger, and there are no men in any of the photos strewn on the walls of the office. Most likely she's been a nurse here for a while and plans to stay for an undetermined amount of time. The office has been made entirely hers, clear from the bright blue painted walls and the photos of friends and family all over the room.

          My attention was drawn back to Ms. Barbro, "I hope you understand I'll have to contact your parents about this, or at least your guardian," her tone is clipped. All the worry from her voice gone and replaced my agitation. She looked to be of Asian descent, her skin a natural tan and dark black hair tied back in a bun at the crest of her head.

          "Yes, I understand. Their information should be with my file." Samuel either ignored her annoyance or didn't notice. I'm not sure which is more likely given it's him.

          In response to what he said Ms. Barbro just huffed and nodded walking back over to her desk, "I can't let you go back to class. Not after that, so you can stay here or in one of the chairs outside of my office." It was obvious which one she preferred him to do, "And you, Mr. Grendel need to go to class." She began writing something on a blue sticky note- man, I really wonder what her favorite color is, "Here, I'll write you a note explaining why you're late." I nodded in thanks and took it.

          Samuel got up without another word and went out of the office, supposedly to the chairs. I followed him and shut the office door behind me before speaking.

          "What? Not even a thank you?" I asked, being a smart ass.

          He shook his head and didn't look up to meet my gaze, "Thank you for getting me to the nurse," I swallowed thickly, he sounded sincere despite my mocking tone, "but you don't need to be my friend out of pity. I know you're only 'friends' with me because you felt bad." He used bunny ear quotes around the word friends.

          At his words, my heart pounded and I felt cold all over because... because he's onto me. Not because I actually want to be his friend. Despite my inner turmoil, I found myself wanting to reassure him that's not why I wanted to be friends, even though I know it's a lie, even though I know I'm getting myself deeper and deeper into a tangle of lies and new emotion that I'm not sure what to make of. This entire situation has me completely confused. For once, I don't know what to do. And that scares me.