I'm Sorry (Not Really)

Chapter Twenty-One

I wish I had known this was only the beginning,

I wish I had known it was all uphill from here,

I wish I had known that this was the smallest price I'd have to pay.

I wish I had known..

I wish I had known.

~A. F.

GORE AND BLOOD WARNING

          Before she finally left that night she gave me a leather-bound book and told me not to lose it. The cover had faded colors on it, so faded you couldn't see the original ones and could barely make out the design on the cover if you tried. Right on the inside cover of the book was a handwritten note signed by someone named 'Davna', I scanned over it quickly. Giana didn't tell me what was in the book but based on the cover I think I could make a good guess.

          A book of everything I would need to know about 'magic' and 'NOHD'.

         I got in my car and sat there for a good while. Just staring out the windshield while I thought over everything. My phone pinged, alerting me of a text from Vanessa. That was all the conformation I needed to make up my mind.

You: We need to talk. Meet me at the park.

        I didn't wait for a response before I started to drive, I knew she'd meet me.

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         Vanessa's car was already at the park when I got there, she does live closer than where I was driving from afterall. She had been waiting in her car and when I pulled up next to her she got out.

         The setting reminded me eerily of my last meeting with Samuel. The memory of those last moments made me shiver uncontrollably, goosebumps crawling up my arms and across my face. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and got out, walking around to the passenger door where Vanessa was standing, clutching her sweater with her arms crossed over her front.

         "Is everything alright, Thomas?" I saw her hand twitch slightly. "You didn't say what you wanted to talk about.." Her voice trailed off and though I couldn't see her eyes from the shadows around us, I could feel that she wasn't looking directly at me.

        "I'm going to Ireland next year." She took a sharp breath and I saw her hands tighten their hold on her sleeves. "I think-"

         She interrupted, "I know. You want to break up." I saw her head tilt downward slightly. "I really shouldn't have allowed this to continue for as long as it has. I always knew you didn't share the same feelings I have for you." Her voice was small but strong.

          It honestly surprised me that she knew what I wanted to say, that she had known all along. "If you knew, why didn't you say something before?"

          A bitter sort of laugh escaped her. "Hope. I hoped you'd eventually feel the same or that I was wrong about you not liking me." I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't find anything to say for once. Vanessa released a shaky breath, "I admired you. You had been through so much, stories circulate about your time in the foster system, how many families you've gone through. Yet you came to school and you were always so bright, always so strong. I want to be like you, I guess I thought.. I thought maybe if I could spend more time around you.."

          Lies. All of what she just said was full of lies and she didn't even know it. She never would.

          I stepped closer to her and took one of her hands in mine, I could see she was crying now. "Vanessa, you are one of the kindest people I've ever met. And I've met some shity people, hell, I'm a shity person. You have no idea who I am or what I've done, what I plan to do. You are such an amazing person, you don't deserve this and I'm so sorry it had to be you."

          She looked up at me and met my eyes, confused. "Thomas, what-" She gasped sharply, her eyes wide before she started to cough.

          "I really am sorry, V. But sacrifices have to be made, you are one of many to come." I twisted the knife that had slipped right under her ribs and into her lung. She rasped and tried to push away from me, only twisting the knife further into herself.

          Her eyes filled with tears and she coughed violently, blood spewing all over both of us. Her mouth moved but no words came out and I pushed her back, retracting and knife from her lung. She stumbled and fell to the ground, coughing and sputtering, grasping at the wound in her chest. I watched the blood drip off of her and onto the ground as she continued trying to fight for her life.

          "You deserved better. You really did." I stepped forward and watched as she heaved and coughed for the last time. Her eyes never left mine, her last moments were spent staring into my eyes, and I wonder what she saw in them. If anything at all.

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The note on the inside of the cover read,

"Dear Thomas Grendel,

         I hope this finds you well, as I know it will. I'm sure Gianna has already told you the basics, and since you're reading this, you already know what you're getting into for the most part. This book contains all the information you will need about the magical users we watch and monitor, as well as any questions you may have regarding the NOHD. I urge you to read through it as it will answer any questions you may have.

          I'm extremely excited to meet you and I'm very glad you have decided to join our team. I hope you understand why we can't let just anyone in though, given this minor detail, you have to go through a sort of initiation. Once you do this, you are welcomed into our ranks as an officer of the NOHD. I have no doubt you will exceed my expectations and take care of this problem immediately.

         As for what your initiation is, or more of what you have to do, there is a specific 'magic mutant' (as is common to call people who are born with magic) who has not followed our rules or regulations. This MM (magic mutant) hasn't registered herself with us, nor has she followed protocol on how she is allowed to use her 'abilities'.

          As you may have guessed these are serious offenses. We have tried to handle it peacefully, but sadly, that approach has not worked. So, to prove you are loyal to our cause you are required to take care of this problem. Now, I understand if you 'just don't have to heart', given you know this person from previous encounters but you must understand this is the only way left.

          The MM we need you to take care of is Vanessa Vineguard. I'm sure you know her.

         Take all the time you need to fix this problem, but know after two weeks of doing nothing it is considered a forfeit from you and we will never contact you again.

        Do not disappoint me, Thomas.

-Sincerely, Davna Volsealt"

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