It started with the word,
dragon,
and its synonym:
dad
That man who started fires with the things that he said.
He didn't breathe fire, he used words instead
They were never for me because I was
good
Good in definition.
In other words, I was,
Quiet.
They were never for me because I was quiet.
And I was familiar with them, the dragons
I had a secret weapon, a word
And word was a
shield
And the shield's name was
indifference
To the fire, the burning fire
To the words
From behind his teeth, below blood-shot eyes they came
Big words which rested on my head like a weight
Loud words that drowned out every other sound
They were hot to the touch, burned like a brand
Coloring my sight red with the curses between syllables
A sledgehammer to the wall around my idealistic world
I watched it crumble...
There was another word,
sister
Who only shared half of my blood
The half-sister
The one who never did say the right things
A warrior
who never wore a shield but only purple,
Purple:
The color of royalty
The color of her
bruises after battle
From the words and the fists and the blows that he gave
I wanted bruises too, I wanted to be brave
But my words were so quiet, and I was scared of the dragon
Black, the color of a fortress,
a world in a word
And a synonym: my closet
The silence was a friendly phantom
Which stroked my scarlet hot cheeks
lifting me into the delicate plumes of its dark embrace
out of the world of an eight-year-old,
the coward
Confused, scared, angry, I was a child
But I was a child with very grown-up thoughts
Grown-up, a word
And its synonym: serious
White was the color in my nightmares
Filled with veils, bouquets, and pearly smiles
The haunting ivory of a
wedding dress
And its synonym:
a prison
The couple would smile and say, "I love you."
But that word,
love
Had a synonym:
obligation
And its color was green
The color of the dragon's face when it looked at other women
And when long the years past, the coward child became serious
I became serious, a word
and its synonym: grown up
I still carry my shield
For whenever I see
dragons
dragons, a word
and its synonym:
men.
