𝔼𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟

Chapter 18 : Reasons

They are sat in silence, blanket draped over their legs and mugs in their hands as they watch the droplets of water run down the window.

Ivy knows Alex is trying to come up with the right thing to say, so she waits patiently, hiding a smirk behind her mug everytime she catches a glimpse of a tortured Alex.

When another minute passes by, Ivy decides to put the poor guy out of his misery.

"Alex, stop squirming and start drinking your tea, it's getting cold."

Alex stills immediately, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, just drink it," Ivy prompts.

Alex's eyes narrow on the mug in his hands, "no, I mean, I'm sorry for what I did."

"So you've said. A few times already."

"And I will keep saying it until you forgive me. I know you haven't yet, even if you're here with me right now." Alex chews on his lip and his eyes never leave the mug.

"I'm not angry," Ivy sighs, "I mean, I am. But I'm more hurt than angry. I felt like I couldn't trust you, but I was hoping you would prove me wrong. Instead you ended up making it harder for me to change my mind."

"And I hate myself for it, you have no idea. But you have to understand that I wasn't digging for information with bad intentions," Alex promises as he peers at Ivy.

Ivy's looking out the window with knitted eyebrows, "why ?"

"why ?"

"why did you do it ?"

"Because I want to know you better, and you gave me an opportunity to do so, and so my selfish, greedy arse took it," Alex answers honestly.

"But why ?" Ivy asks again and Alex's breath is stuck in his throat.

"Because,"

Alex could tell her, right now. He could tell her that he likes her, but the last thing he wants is for her to pull away from him again.

"- I care about you. "

It's not a lie.

Ivy watches him with curiosity and it's so intense, Alex has to fiddle with a loose string from the blanket to soothe his nerves.

"But why ?" Ivy whines.

Alex releases a sudden laugh at her inquisitions, cutting through some of the tension.

"Because, you're family. You're a good person and you care about people. You're different than anyone I've ever met."

Ivy jerks her head up and glowers at Alex, "nothing about me is special, Alex. You have this vision of me in your mind that I will never come close to and someday you're gonna see that."

"Not all of your pieces are his," Alex says and Ivy's grimaces.

"Don't," she warns but Alex ignores her.

"I'm sorry, Ivy. I don't want to hurt you, but I won't treat you like a wounded animal any longer. I'm sorry about what happened to you, whatever it is. But I know that your story with Tristan isn't the only thing there is to know about you. I'm sure it's a big part, but I don't want to know about that, I want to know about your favorite food, or what movies you like to watch on a Sunday. I want to know why you hate public transport and I want to know what Disney princess you wanted to be as a child,"

Alex smiles and Ivy returns it.

"If you ever feel like telling me about Tristan and your life with him, I will gladly listen, but I'd rather you trust me enough to tell me the most insignificant things about yourself first, because if you can tell me about him but not about everything else, then I won't count it as getting to know you. Not all of your pieces are his."