A Little Poetry

Letter to Mummy

Dear Mummy,

I'm sorry.
It wasn't your fault.

It wasn't your fault. I was the stupid one. I didn't know how to deal with all of my stupid emotions. No one taught me that. People did however, teach me math, English, and science though. You know, all of the "important" stuff, that I was going to need later in life.

It wasn't your fault that my teachers and parents called me stupid when I don't get the questions right on my test, or when I only got 67% in the course. (which I think is pretty good) They sent me to summer school when they knew I had tried my best, which is not good enough. I wasn't smart enough.

It wasn't your fault that I never felt safe at 'home.' Someone was always shooting hateful words at me, and smashing me down.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will only cause permanent psychological damage."
-Rubz1245
Shooting hateful words is better then hitting me, right?

It wasn't your fault that's wasn't strong enough to carry this weight. Not a physical weight, that I could just take off like a backpack. This is a weight that never lifts. A weight that gets heavier every day. A weight that I had no one to share with.

It wasn't your fault that no one saw the pain that I was in, or at least never did anything about it. Maybe no one cared. Maybe no one knew how to help. Most likely no one even noticed the little red lines that marked my wrists and my hips. No one noticed when I stopped eating.

It wasn't your fault that I had a complete access to a countless number of pills. Don't worry- I've thought this through once for every pill I took.

It wasn't your fault that's life had become a living hell for me.

It wasn't your fault that I could never be good enough.

Thank You.

•••••••••

So the quote
"sticks and stones may break my bones but words will only cause permanent psychological damage"
Is not mine it's rubz1255's from one of her poems I'm not trying to steal it I just like it a lot and included it in this poem
Rubz1245 I hope that's okay if you don't want me to have it in my poem just message me and I'll take it out

Also I guess this would be my suicide note if I ever decided to go that far. But I haven't so people that know me and are reading this don't woo try over nothing.