Regret || L.k

1.

Here I am. As always, sitting on my bed while thinking of my life decision.

How did I fall for my cruel husband?

Everyday ever since our first marriage, he would come home late around 1-3 Am and I would always wait for him to arrive.

And for my concern, he shouted at me for waiting for him.

I always treated him as a wife no matter what. I wash his clothes, clean the big house, cook him a dinner, he's still ungrateful for everything I've done and hired a chef to cook for him instead.

When I injured my head, he wasn't there at the hospital to check on me nor did he ask if I was okay since I came back home.

Does he ever care about someone? What am I then, a dog? If he can't see me as his wife then at least treat me like a human.

I'm not a doll that holds feeling, I'm not as perfect as how he wants me to be. All I want is a perfect life. But seems like this isn't happening.

Everyday he hurts me, I would cry inside the maid's room while the maids comfort me. I'm very thankful for them.

One maid, who cooks and washes the bathroom is the old woman while the other young maid cleans the house.

I would sometimes help them do chores since I'm always bored at house and Jungkook told me not to go out.

But today, I was too frustrated and suffocating in the house, so I took my jacket and wore it as I went outside in the late night. I don't care what my husband says.

Today, nothing can stop me from doing what I want.

I was walking in the street at 9:32 PM at night. I knew jungkook won't come until 1 AM. I saw a couple in the bench cuddling while they were laughing and talking together.

I mentally smiled while seeing them, this is what I wished for. My smile slowly faded thinking that wouldn't happen and walked away.

It's our first year anniversary, but of course, he wouldn't care about it. I don't know why I'm still in love with him while he's hurting me everyday.

I silently teared up while sitting in the bench. For me? It was normal to cry everyday. All the emotions I've kept, I felt too weak and let it out.

I came back home and checked the room is jungkook arrived, but he didn't come yet.

I sighed and closed his room and went back to my room as I laid down.