The Craziest Of Them All

VI

I am still in the backseat of the slick Lexus car, but instead of staring at the boring scenery zooming past the car's back window; I am happily munching away at my Double Quarter Pounder with extra cheese.

I take a huge bite of my burger and moan out loudly as the deliciousness of the juicy patty, creamy cheese, fresh tomatoes and lettuce and crisp bun attacks my senses in a good way.

"Do you have to do that?" Sour Jay asks, turning around in his seat to look at me inquisitively.

I don't reply back verbally, but nod my head energetically as I shove a handful of fries in my mouth.

"But do you have to do that every time you take a bite of your burger?"

I nod again before taking another big bite. This time, I moan out sexually while kicking my feet excitedly on the car's carpeted floor.

Jay rolls his eyes at my behaviour. When I start licking the delicious barbecue sauce that dripped from the burger off of my fingers, he shakes his head disgustingly at me before turning around to face the front. This nigga be acting as if he never seen a hungry girl eat before. At the moment I couldn't give a flying fuck about eating etiquette, I haven't eaten anything in forever and all I care about is filling my aching stomach with some of Mc Donald’s secret recipe shit. I ain't out here tryna impress nobody, especially not Jay.

As the drive continues, all that can be heard is the hum of the car’s powerful engine and me munching away happily at my meal.

"Do you have McDonalds in Africa?" Alex asks curiously, breaking the comfortable silence in the car. This nigga. That is such a common and stupid question. I can't believe that in the 21st fucking century, people still have the same ignorant view of Africa as some dark continent where naked people are running around with lions as pets. Dumb fucks.

I swallow the last of my food in my mouth before answering him. "Well, Lex." I start off, completely ignoring the fact that he asked me explicitly not to call him that. "I can't speak for the whole of Africa, but back home in South Africa there is a McDonalds at like every corner." I answer truthfully, slurping my Sprite.

"Then why do you act as if you've never eaten a burger before?"

I pause from loudly sipping on my drink to shoot Alex a small glare. "I do not eat as if I've never eaten a burger before." I defend myself, "I just make sure people know how much I'm enjoying my food."

"Okay, chill." Alex exasperates.

I take the empty burger box and chip box and shove them into the paper bag they came in and also dust off any crumbs that may have fallen onto my lap. I place the bag on the floor and sit comfortably in my seat before drinking away the last of my Sprite.

“So, like, do you guys have like internet or tv’s in Africa?” Jay inquires curiously. My mouth falls slack at the shit question coming out of his mouth. You see, this is the fucking shit I’m talking about. It's because of motherfuckers like Jay that people think us Africans are an uneducated primal society.

“Really Jay?” I ask with my eyebrows raised, “Are you seriously asking me a dumbass question? Imma ignore you right now” I say before looking out the car window.

“So you from South Africa?” Alex asks inquisitively also effectively changing the topic, while sparing me a quick glance through the rear view mirror.