The Craziest Of Them All

IV

The man clumsily collapses to the floor with a soft thud. He is out cold. I stand aghast over his limp body, I can't believe that just worked, I always thought that television shows were lying to us when someone got clouted over the head and they passed out. I always used to shake my head at the scenes, like 'it's all just fucking lies' . Guess it was true after all!

I raise the broom above my head the same way a boxing champion would hold his belt after a victory. I jump from my right to my left foot, smiling broadly at my non-existent crowd of fans that are cheering my name. I even go as far as doing a couple of bows are throwing a few 'thank you's' to the empty walls of the hallway.

I am snapped out of my victory dance when the lump of meat at my feet slightly groans in pain. I stop my nonsense and speed walk away from the man.

Not knowing where to go, I just head away from the passed out man on the floor. I run as fast as my legs will allow me to go. This place just seems to be one long, dark tunnel. There are no turns and no other doors, just a couple gas lamps strung up on pegs on each side of the tunnel's walls.

I keep running until I reach inter junction. I stop and stare down the two dark pathways in front, both heading into different directions. One curves into the right while the other curves to the left. I have no idea where either of the paths go, but I have no choice but to choose one of them if I want to eventually get out of this place.

Since I have no idea where either of the paths will take me. I do what I end up doing every time I am in doubt and am faced with a tough choice.

I recite 'inie meenie minie mo'

"Inie meenie minie mo,

catch a bad chick by her toe,

if she holler let her go,

inie meenie minie mo!"

When I finished singing the song, my finger is pointing toward the left tunnel. My methods are never wrong so with a shrug of my shoulder, I speed walk, because I can't run anymore due to a stitch the size of Texas on my side, into the dark hallway.

My footsteps echo loudly in the quiet hallway. The path curves and leads me towards the right, I follow obligingly.

I tighten my hold on my trusty broom. Reaching the end of the hallway, I confidently step into the well lit room. Five guys are sitting around a table in the corner. Loud hollers and laughs are coming from their directions.

Other than the group of men at the corner, the room is bare. The ugly mustard yellow paint coating the walls is pealing in most places and there is a metal bucket in one corner where a steady stream of water from the ceiling drips into it. The place looks like a serious health hazard.

Not even trying to hide or quieten my footsteps, I walk closer toward the group of guys. My loud footsteps are not acknowledged by even one of the men, they are so hooked onto whatever they are doing. I walk up to them, still going unnoticed. Upon closer inspection I see some bills, boxes of fruity flavoured bubble gum and an unopened packet of condoms in the centre of the roundtable. Surrounding the men's loot are cards, which give away the fact that the men are betting with cards.

The men are so encased in their little game that they still don't notice my presence.

"Uh, what's the condom for?" I curiously question, my voice causing all the men to turn their attention to me. Finally they notice me! And they call themselves kidnappers! I had to speak for them to even see me, wow. I guess kidnappers are just not as efficient as they used to be.

Ignoring the five pairs of eyes on me and walk closer to the table. I bend over the shoulder of one of the shorter guys and pick up the condom packet and inspect it under my gaze. On the black lamination on the box, I see a man and a women wrapped up together in a blood red silk sheet. The man is looking directly at me while the woman on top of his chest has here face buried in his neck. So intimate they are.