There is lots of homework to do by Monday. Actually it was due awhile ago... Bad year for me. Horrible year actually. I feel like I'm drowning again. When I think of myself, I think of someone swimming,but something grabbed their foot, no matter how hard the struggle, squirm, swim, scream, they can't get their foot loose. And after awhile, your head starts to go under, and now you're holding your breath, pretending like you'll resurface in time, until you can't hold your breath any longer, your lungs are on fire, screaming for the release, and you let go. But now, the last hope you had is gone and you're under water, unable to get back up. Unable to rebuild what you were and what you were going to be. I have to finish tons of work, and I have to work tomorrow, last shift, and play basketball. It's 12:50 am, I suppose I SHOULD go to SLEEP. Maybe. But I needed to get this down. I am going to explode, that's why the lock on this is 9-1-1. Because someone needs to call for help when I do explode. I am an emotional wreck and time-bomb. Mrs.Orville is gone and I don't want to bother the amazing Mrs.Katzker with me and my problems. I don't like to cry. I hate crying, it makes me feel WEAK. And VULNERABLE. I suppose it is my fault though, I hate being open because I could get rejected. Like with Ryan, I miss him so much but he has moved on. Wont even talk to me. Heck, I don't know what I did.
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Thinking Aloud
De TodoThese are just passing thoughts that cross through my mind, some are detailed descriptions of what happened throughout my day, what I feel about others, and even just thoughts that I can't let go.
