Lonely in the dark

Chapter 4 - Fate is a bitch

The annoying 'buzz' of my alarm woke me up at 6am in the morning . Groaning I slowly tried to move my body so I could stay upright . Every muscle in my body screamed in agony once I moved . It seems like today my brain woke up before my body could work . My eyelids were still closed , but I could feel the light hitting my skin . For a few seconds I stayed like that , frozen , enjoying the way my body felt when the light seemed to warm me up . Even if november was near I could still feel the warm breeze of the summer .

Trying to get rid of the millions of thoughts that wanted to absorb my brain , I got up and walked in my bathroom . Turning on my shower , I stripped off my clothes while waiting for the water to get warm . Looking in the mirror I couldn't help but stare at myself . My skin was pale as usual , my body so skinny that you could almost see a few bones clearly and my face looked like I was 100 years old . Nothing special , I looked like that all the time . When I was little I got drepessed because of my appearance , but now I understand  that I can't do anything to change the way I am . Turning my head before I would see all my flaws , I got in the shower and slowly but carefully scrubbed every inch of skin on my body . I felt the need to do so every morning since I felt his presence in my dreams , or should I say nightmares . I didn't have a good dream in years and I doubt the fact that I'm going to ever have one again because of him . I thought that I would get used to his presence in time and it would be easier for me to ignor him , but I was wrong , so wrong . With every time I saw him I could feel like he was more and more real , like I could almost feel his body near mine . It was terrifing , but I couldn't do anything to stop him . I tried to a few times and regretted it immediately .

Once I was done with showering , I made my way to the wardrobe to pick some lingerie and clothes to wear . Most of my clothes were black since I wasn't one of those pretty , skinny or super happy girls who usually wear all types of colours . Black was more than enough for me . I can't even remember the last time I wore something different . It feels like milleniums have passed since I was kid , since I could do anything without beeing afraid of what he will think or do . I would do anything to get rid of him , unfortunately nobody can help me , and that's not even the worst part . No . He kept telling me that I'll be his , showing me imagines of 'our' future togheter . There were so real that many times I could've swear I felt his lips on mine . And as time passed , it became worse , to the point when I would wake up with a black eye or a bruised lip or with a part of my body bleeding . I tried to tell everything to anyone that I thought would help me , but he wouldn't let me . When I wanted to say something , anything , my lips wouldn't part or squeals would escape my mouth . I have learned in time that I could not escape . Fate wanted me to live the rest of my life with that bastard and I couldn't do anything to change that . All I could do was pray that he would get bored and leave me alone . But I had a feeling in my gut that it won't ever happen ...