Rants from a Teenage Type 1 Diabetic aka Me

A year ago

-This can get dark and triggering. It talks about my hospital stay.-

"A year ago I lost hope.

There are many things I could've lost hope on. My grades, my family, my hobbies and talents....

But I ended up losing hope in myself."

That was my mentality a year ago. On April 24th, 2019, I was admitted for the second time into the hospital for not taking care of my diabetes.

I was scared because they told me it was worst than last time and that I almost died.

A year ago, I looked at my tired mom sleeping in the chair across my hospital bed. I couldn't sleep, how could I sleep when I had nurses walking in and out drawing blood.

They didn't feed me until my sugars were under control, I was wondering when they were going to feed me every time I woke up.

I couldn't keep any food nor water down. I had to suck on a cubed sponge on a stick to have just a drop of water.

I cried a lot during those times.

I was hooked up to machines that would beep so loud that I was scared of moving in case they would go off and alert nurses.

I had two IVs connected to me. My arm, and my hand since my veins were so small....I was dehydrated thus my veins were so tiny. They took that IV out after a day and then the used the same hand to draw blood. They stuck my hand so many times, I became numb to the pain at that point.

When I did get to eat, I had to stick to a 75 carb diet. I ordered diet sprite and couldn't even drink it because my throat was in so much pain.

Speaking of eating—every time they have me saline in my IV, I could taste the saltiness.

What was wrong with me?

I had DKA.

Diabetic ketoacidosis—a buildup of acid in blood when blood sugars are too high for an amount of time. It's controllable if you check your sugars enough and dose correctly. If not treated, DKA can cause comas and death.

That was my second time having DKA.

So you'd imagined I learned my lesson when I first had it.

Well, it's been more than a year of my hospital stay. I'm doing better, kinda. This quarantine session isn't making it better, but I'm trying.

I'm not happy, I have a diabetic therapist that helps though and she's wonderful.

If you are struggling with diabetes, please please please...keep fighting. Please keep fighting, I know it's hard as hell but please don't give up. If you have no one to fight for, please keep fighting for me. I know that doesn't seem like much—but I'm fighting for you guys.

Love you guys and thank you for reading. ❤️