One Word | H.S.

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Le"t's go.

~

Honesty.

~

I've been shot.

My body slumps as the blood pours out, the tinge of shock being the only feeling that resides in me. My breathing becomes shallow, air depleting with every exhale, the final breaths surfacing as my eyes flutter shut.

This can't be real.

Thoughts of Auggie and Mia flood my mind, tears littering the corner of my eyes as I wait for the final thump of my heart, the beating slowing quickly.

This can't be happening.

People oftentimes wish for death, wish for their release from the tainted world. There have been times I have had similar thoughts, though I've never acted on them. Now, however, mortality burns through my soon-to-be lifeless body as I pray for a second chance.

Jesus Christ. You weren't shot.

I mentally prepare myself for the bullet wound, my mind wandering to the possible outcome as Harry, Cade, and I stay put behind the bar. None of us have bothered to move, our heads casted straight as we await the exit of the men.

Someone needs to arrest you.

The entire five minutes of being seated behind this bar feels like an eternity, questions whirling about in my mental as the two gods sit beside me, Harry considerably more fearful than Cade.

He stares ahead, his teeth nearly shattering from the immense amount of clenching his jaw has been doing. His eyes stay shut, his breathing hectic as his arms stay lifeless at his sides.

The body language.

Cade continues to peer his head over his denim-covered shoulder, his eyes taking in Harry's trembling body as he shifts uncomfortably into his right arm.

The men continue to yell as the music blares, the feeling that we are all three in a movie being uncanny.

I have yet to find any reasonable explanation for the lot of this, everything being too strange. Harry and Cade's apartment is merely a three minute drive, but I can't seem to wrap my brain around why they were so urgent. How did they know?

The fact I've yet to fall to an attack isn't completely bizarre, the attacks usually happening in the most normal of situations. I could literally fall off a cliff and be jovial, but lose all sense of consciousness when I'm watching a television show.

Harry, on the other hand, looks as though he is about to shatter, his heart pounding greater than an alarm clock, his chest rising quicker than the sun at dawn.

I turn to Cade, his eyes hooked on Harry as I shake my head, mentally speaking to him through my gesture. Thor knows what happens when I have a panic attack, but he remains calm.

Now, however, his eyes are wider than a semi-truck, his hands gripping at the smooth ground while he observes.

When this happens to me, I am unable to control any of my actions whilst having an episode, my body scattering along with my thoughts. There can be abrupt movement, falling to the ground or crashing into the wall. Or, I can be dreadfully still, the complete numbness of my limbs engulfing my near lifeless body.

Either way, they're both terrifying.

My emotions are similar to ocean waves, crashing into the gritty sand with treachery, the water having no control of the movement. But other times, they are serenely still, lacking any curvature or depth as they merely go through the motions.