Billy Batson [One-Shots]

Harlequin & Big Red Cheese

"Harley, we spoke about this!" Billy heard a feminine voice complain... Where was he?

"But... Pam. Look at him. He's so cute. I want to keep him!" answered the second voice, sounding like whining child. Were they speaking about him?

"Harley! He's a child! Not a dog! You can't just grab him in the middle of the street and... keep him," argued the lady.

"Shh! I think he's waking up."

Billy was already awake, he just pretended to rub his eyes, shaking off the sleep.

"Wh-where am I?"

"I'm sorry kid. You can go, forgive Harley, she acts before she thinks" spoke the lady that was glaring at who he assumed was Harley, and now that he looked at her... she was green. Cool! 

Wait a second. Harley and Pam? Harlequin and Poison Ivy. Oh-oh.

"Oh, don't listen to a mean green lady, little Popkin," cooed at him Harley, hugging him closer to her chest, while rubbing her cheek on his head.

Ivy just huffed, turning her nose upward. They didn't seem malicious or very villainy. Billy didn't believe that people were evil, they were just hurt and misunderstood. 

So he decided to stick around and spend time with Harley, give her a chance so to speak. Maybe she just needed a friend? Her happy face was totally worth it.

Timeskip

"Harley Quinn! Come quietly!" boomed Batman's voice. Billy almost dropped his little teacup. He and Harley were having a tea party. After they got tired of playing dress-up, where Harley dressed Billy and vice-versa, they decided to have a tea party. Even Pam seemed amused by their antics, the two of them behaving like literal kids. Billy loved every second of it. He never had this much fun. He didn't have any friends, so there was no one he could play with. Leaguers were all grown-up and they weren't very interested. Plus it would seem weird if a grown-up man asked them to play with him. So he was very sad and lonely. Who knew that getting kidnapped would fix that. 

Pamela taught him various little things about plants and wildlife. Thanks to her, Billy started appreciating life even more. Treasuring little plantlings and various forms of life. He was really happy that he got kidnapped, as weird as it might have sounded.

So Batman was very surprised when he saw Billy and Harley casually drinking tea, with their pinky stuck out (they weren't heathens, thank you very much). 

"Ooh. Batsy's here!" squealed Harley. "Meet Billy. He's my friend. We are having a tea party!"

Batman looked at Harley, then at Billy, and then again at Harley. His mind trying to process what was going on.

"Billy. Did this nice lady kidnap you?" asked Batman, in his no-nonsense voice.

Billy shook his head, not wanting to get Harley in trouble. "Not at all, Mr. Batman, sir. We are just having a tea party. How do you like your tea, sir?"

Batman glared at them some more. 

"I'm afraid I can't stay. I've got Joker to catch..."

"Tell Puddin' I said 'Fuck you'" Brightly grinned Harley, as she covered Billy's innocent ears.

Batman just inclined his head and vanished. 

Billy left Harley's and Pam's house with a bright grin on his face, but not before asking Harley to kidnap him some more if she suddenly finds herself in Fawcett city. Harley brightly agreed, while Ivy face-palmed, shaking her head at the duo.