Behind closed doors

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As I gaze upon my arm and smile,
evaluate the mistakes I've made,
I'm aware that this is not my style,
Yet I'd rather face death than lose this blade.

A tiny scratch, and nothing more.
That's good enough for me, I say. 
Another blood drop on the floor. 
Just one more time, it'll be okay.

Another day, another mask.
A different smile, but it's all the same.
All you have to do is ask, 
But nobody wants to know my shame.

Everybody's eyes tell me I'm fine, 
Not knowing that I wish to be dead.
A twisted fate without a sign.
I pray their ignorance doesn't spread.

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