Love of the Times...! // காலங்கள் ஓய்ந்தாலும் காதல்...!

Love

Whenever a ride ends, we have a habit of having a small chat. Since it was around one-thirty at midnight we were having a chat full of whispers.
All of a sudden
Musi: Don't have any expectations dude. Having silent crushes is a risky stuff man. You gotta go through a lot. Mood swings, ups downs, and all at ones. It depends
I couldn't utter a word. Though we both are kind of funny, at times one of us turn to be serious advisers. I know, when he says something... for sure that's gonna hit hard on my mind. I was keeping silent for a while

Dude... if it is difficult to resist, just let her know that you have a crush. I'm afraid in case if she is not okay with that, you'll be shattered into pieces. To go through that is really hard I know. Musi said
Me: Nah man... even I have a doubt if I will match her wishes or expectations. Like if I look good or if we make a good pair. You know right, I don't look that good man... I don't know how to impress her...
I don't say I don't know how to impress any girl, that will be a lie but... impressing her is a big deal!

Musi: Impress her? What are you talking about you nut?
It was you who used to advise all of us not try to impress a girl rather be yourself and if she likes then that's gonna be the best life ever?
Think about it Ozi...impressing a girl is just faking around and that's temporary.
If you impress and if she falls, okay you both get married and live your life.
She gets to know the real you and then there will be misunderstandings, there'll be issues. That's gonna end up in hell man.
Why? Maybe it could happen way before getting married. When true face comes out it will hurt her...

Me: Yeah I do remember I said not to impress and to be ourselves. But... to say is, easy man... to do...?
Girls do expect that factor of "impression" and without that, there's no attentions created bro.
Musi: Not all the girls are the same. The right one will only understand your worth. Just stop thinking about this impressing bullshit.
And... looks... looks are just external factors of a human bro. There's no fact that good looking ones are the best to lead a life with.
Remember, A Tattoo does not make you a criminal and a Tie does not make you decent. It's all about what you are from within. What your mind is up with and how good is your heart is what you are. For me, even looks are just temporary attractions.

Tell me how you will look after her?

Me: What? I was staring at him all of a sudden.
What do you mean?
Musi: Think that you both got married. How would you look after her?
Me: Hey... how could I tell that dude... you ask whole my life in one question and I'm speechless.
After a deep breath
I will never like to say that I will look after her like a queen.
For us, the queen is our Momma yeah?
But yes... I think I can tell you.
Don't mock me for this.
You know I love poetry so I will tell it this way...
Macha... whatever the parts of our body gets hurt, it's the eye that reacts at first... it will tear up. She's that.. whatever I go through, however, I'll be pushed on; she will have a reason and a way to pull me up. She will literally be the solution to all my problems. She will be the eye to react if she's with me. Tell me how you protect your eyes? We can get hurt, it may bleed, and still, sometimes our mind will keep us in control to be calm and have patience but if a small dust particle goes into our eyes we get panicked. That's what her silence will impact me.

Musi: You mad? I'm not asking you what she means to you now...
Me: Macha.., let me finish.
I will look after her as my eyes. Whatever she loves and wanna pursue, I wanna afford them.
It's not easy to say them, bro.
What question have you asked?
It's a life, actions!
They can never be put into words that easily!
You know right?
Musi was silent until I finish it off. He was just saying "Hmm... mmm..."
Musi... you remember we used to discuss all these and we had made a decision that we gotta look after our partner's fam as ours.

Musi: Hmm yeah. That's kinda very important. That's what a girl will dream for. That's how we can steal her heart no matter what...

After a small silence...
More than anything talk to your mom and get knowledge of the things that she missed in her life. Remember them for the rest of your life. While you're working on your life to be happy, have a beautiful life; make sure that those things which your mom missed, your life partner doesn't miss.
Said Musi

Aren't we going out of the topic? I asked sarcastically.
(Musi started the bike by then)
We are... I mean you make me talk so much seriously. Stop thinking about all the bullshits. Your looks don't matter to have a good relationship, what matters is how you will treat her. I know my friend will do it perfectly. If not I will slap him. While saying that he gradually started turning the bike.
Stop thinking about that girl and feeling towards her, let her feel your worth.
Go to sleep now. He said and started departing like all other days. Yes; I own the bike but he rides it the most. That's what defines our friendship!
The whole village knows it, I won't give my bike to anyone else but him.
I tease him, mock him, beat him up, and insult him too but in case if anyone else does them over him. They're dead.

I was thinking about the last 2 hours of that particular night. If not my RE and Musi, I would have punished myself with emotions, tears, and maybe by self-harming too. At the same time, if not her I never would have got such emotions.

While that night was full of surprises and miracles, it also dumped millions and millions of questions in my head.

But.., what I realized was that. Just because I liked her character I started admiring whatever she did. She's not an alien but a superwoman for me. I know she stands out from all other girls, her thought process is way different and she wanna pursue her life by breaking all the barriers set up by the so-called society. I started admiring everything and anything about her. Because that was her attitude. Her character already absorbed me. That admiration had already created a look of her in my mind and when I met her I just fell for her not for the looks but for the bravery that her attitude could showcase on how she looks. She's one of the prettiest girls ever but more than that for whatever that I admire her and what her looks could cater her attitude, made me blush at once.

So I literally fell for what she is, not only for how she looks. At the same time, her attitude which I like whats hurts me too. When the reasons for which I love her the most stand up to hurt me the most, it's really hard to breathe in.
But that night, I was having mood swings like hell.

After deep thought, I suddenly started missing her.

I had a habit of calling her late-night or stay on call until late night... after sometimes she will sleep while I'm on call. I will still be on call just because I love listening to her breathe... Then I feel as if she breathes from my heart...🖤
Experiencing that... was Devine!!! It was love... and Love only...