Love of the Times...! // காலங்கள் ஓய்ந்தாலும் காதல்...!

Conflict

It was 9:30 in the morning. I was having a tight sleep after the late-night ride with Musi. I could hear my phone ringing. I remember I pulled the phone in the sleep, answered, and tried to say Hello. I was still asleep.
Hello... good morning... have a nice day..!
Sir did not wake up yet?
Me: Hellooo... (In sleep) uuuhhhh?
Hey. Wake up wake up. I need a favor from you.
Me: Uhhh say whaat? (Still in sleep)
Ozi... you gonna wake up or should I cut the call now? I'm in a hurry, I need help.

I suddenly woke up
I am already awake Ma'am tell me what favor you need?
Janii: Liar... just now you woke after I shouted. And say you're already awake...

See... I woke up for you girl. What's more special than that? Who else will do all these to you?
Janii: ah ha... enough flirting I need a favor. Will you do or shall I ask from anyone else? I knew that she was purposely saying that. But still...
Me: I never said that I can't. I will do it no matter what. Say what do you need?
Janii: I need Two Hundred bucks recharge to my phone. You know right, it could only be used for one week and it is over. I can return the money to you later.
Me: Return what? Who asked for money from you. Give me some times I will put the reload.
Janii: Okay. I have class at 10. Can you make it before that? Please...
Me: Yeah. Within 5 minutes. I said I was hurrying to the shop. After having a quick wash. I was searching for my bike key and I couldn't find it. I remember I was shouting at everyone at home that they don't protect my bike key or they keep it somewhere else in the name of arranging.
I had completely forgotten that I went on a ride last night and Musi took the bike.
I knew that I gotta go about five kilometers to put that reload since they don't have reloads for the network brand that Janii is using.
All of a sudden I remembered that Musi took the bike with him. So I grabbed my wallet from my table and I hired a three-wheeler to reach Musi. I remember I was shouting at his home until he woke up. I also pulled out his wallet and took 200 bucks cash and got on my RE.

That ride was eager. I was having a craving in mind throughout the ride. Maybe because I was waiting until she calls me. Finally, she did. I never expected I would wake up hearing her voice. That was awesome. And for the first time she was saying "Good morning" was a different experience. But still, she could have said a sorry. Nothing would have happened much. Huh. Attitude!
It was a happy ride. I was not too fast, not too slow. I never wanted anyone to overtake me. I was not overtaking anyone either. What was in my mind was, I was thinking about how she would react after I do this help... how she would talk to me...

Suddenly
She was nice not because she needed the favor right? My mind whispered...

Human minds are rubbish sometimes. We doubt our loved ones.
Within seconds I remembered I should not think that way.
Nah.. Janii is not such a girl. She wouldn't behave that way. I know she doesn't make advantages.

You know what? My bike could roar the sound of my heart. Whatever I feel,, my bike could catch up that beat on its sound. May be, only I could hear that rhythm. That's a love beyond.

Then all of a sudden I felt as if I should say sorry to her.
But why would I? Actually... it was an argument that made an issue. I know she's someone very jovial. So she has a lot of friends. That's not her mistake too but the problem for me is that she has some friends in the boys' gang too. Actually, that's not a problem for me but I'm kinda possessive.
If you ever wanna know the core meaning of possessiveness, you can look at me. I get possessive for no reason. And that's only for Janii. Even she knows that.

This time the argument was not because of the possessiveness but because of the respect I have for her. You know when a guy like me, likes an angel like her... I expect everyone to respect her. That's not wrong either.

If you were I, you would have shouted at her to make her realize what it really is...

Now... Let me tell you what happened...

One of her friends, a guy always addresses her saying Tamanna...
Okay? Tamanna is an Indian actress and yeah she's pretty.

Sometimes, I even I use to tell her that you look like this actress in this pic and you look like this actress blah blah... that's an appreciation and that's finished with the moment I'm done. That's just an appreciation.

But calling her by an actress's name is inappropriate. That's not respectful.

Someone who loves her will never accept that. She's a blessing, she's a heroine to me. She should be appreciated for what she is. For that sake at times we all say that "Hey you look like Samantha, you look like Tamanna, you look like Parvathi..." but calling her by their name is actually a disrespectful act. No matter how much she likes that actress.
A guy, who really has respect towards any girl will never do that all the time. A guy like me, who has respect, who really looks up to her, who stands for her, stand by her... will never wanna know about such thing and never will like too.
You can always appreciate her with an actress's name but make sure you don't address her the same way! That's inappropriate.

I asked her to advise that guy not to call her so. I was really gone mad "No matter how close friends you both are... if he has respect towards you he will never do that. If you say, he doesn't think that way... let him know, advise him about it, educate him to respect you. Game over..."

Then she got angry...
I have no idea what happened.

Janii: Look he's my friend. I understand your courage over me. But These things are not to be taken seriously. Just leave it. You don't have to bother about it.

That's where I went mad. I have no control over my anger. But I was so much particular about the words I should speak. I was literally controlling myself for the first time in my life.
"Sorry Janii, I never meant it that way but. I feel like it's not appropriate. That's why I wanted to tell it. You can just think about it." I said to her...

Janii: Look Ozi... you are also someone in my close circles same like him.. please mind that.
She said that and she cut the call.

I knew she was angry. But that hit me really hard. Nobody knows the pain of a guy who's having a crush on a girl who's his friend. We can't express our love because we have a fear if we will lose her. At the same time, we can never let her go just because our love is true. It's not that easy. Whatever happens, we gotta smile and deal with it... no matter how hard the situation is.

I reached the shop where the reload is available. I put the reload. It was 9:57 AM.
Soon after she received the reload, she had texted me.
"Hey.. I got it.
.
.
.
Sorry"

Suddenly, when I saw her text I did not get what she's trying to tell me. I was thinking what it is... then I saw her previous text, that was just 3 days before...
"Hey, I got the reload... thanks da..."

I couldn't resist that happiness. A girl's efforts for an apology is always cute.
She might have felt whatever I said was correct or maybe she might have felt what she spoke was wrong. I never spoke to her about it after then. That one apology was cute.

I should have remembered when did I put the last reload, at least I could have saved Two Hundred bucks cash. 😂
I actually borrowed it from Musi... and that he should not expect in return 🤣

Yeah, I never bothered about anything. When she said she needs a favor, I was right there on the field to help her. I was completely blank. Not only me, any guy who's suffering from untold/told crushes will go through these conflicts.
And... the shit is real! Only we know the pain...💔