Zion hasn't contacted me since he heard me and Brandon in the hotel room .
It's only been 2 days tho so he might contact me eventually .
I had nick pack up some of my stuff and meet me and Brandon at the hotel so I didn't have to see Zion at all.
I have a lot of thinking to do . But everytime I start thinking I stop myself because I just don't wanna think about Zion . But I need to , I need to make up my mind so that I'm not leading Brandon on .
About a hour ago I posted a explicit photo of Brandon and I .
There's a large mirror beside the hotel bed , in the picture Brandon and I are both naked , the thin sheets were hardly covering his body but covered the parts that needed to be covered . He was ontop of me , my legs were spread wide . I posted it on my private snap story so only people I knew would see it .
I put "7 minutes in paradise" as the caption with a few emojis .
Zion viewed it , but I don't care. He really hurt me and this is only a sliver of the pain I felt when me and him had that fight .
Im laying in bed. I'm still bare ass naked because Brandon and I have been having sex on and off the whole day.
He was up fixing me some food on the little stove that they had in the hotel room . We are planning on leaving sometime later today so that we can go home . I'm nervous to see Zion but Brandon done told me he texted the guys and let them know what happened between Brandon and I so that if they see Zion near me they will protect me .
I felt eyes on me and I looked over and seen Brandon watching me. I smiled "hi baby" I say .
He walked over and got in bed with me "what about the stove babe" I say as I wrapped my arms around him . He connected our lips and gave me a few kisses "it's fine for a minute babygirl , I can't help but watch you , your so beautiful my love" he said .
We start making out .
I do have feelings for Brandon and I love him I really do love him . But I just don't think that him and I are meant to be . I still think that Zion and I are meant to be and no matter what I do I'll never get over Zion . I love Zion more then anything . While Brandon makes me feel amazing , it will never be the same as the way Zion makes me feel .
He started kissing down my neck . All I could think about was Zion ..... I miss him . I don't belong with Brandon I miss my baby .
I have a feeling that maybe I should stay with Brandon , but I miss Zion . But I should also stay away from Zion ... I don't know . I really don't know .
"What's wrong baby" Brandon asked as he looked at me . He is ontop of me and I have my legs loosely around him "nothing" I say lowly .
He grabbed my chin with his thumb lightly and lifted it up so we made eye contact . I smiled "I'm ok baby , I'm just thinking" I say .
He connected our lips and kissed me slowly "did you need some space , I can leave for a while I understand you have a lot on your mind" he said . "Yea , maybe for just a hour or two baby" I say.
He smiled and kissed me again "alright , I love you" he whispered . He had a look in his eyes , I could tell he was upset . He knew that me and him aren't gonna last long . I don't want to hurt him but I just need time to think.
He went to get up and I pulled him back in . I connected our lips and started kissing him . "I love you Brandon , I really do love you i just have a lot on my mind right now baby I'm just so confused right now" I say .
"It's ok if you wanna get back with Zion , I'm not mad I'm just gonna miss you a lot babe" he said . "I don't know what I'm gonna do I haven't thought about it yet" I say .
"Well whatever you do I just want you to be happy that's all because I really care about you , and if you and Zion don't work out I'm always here for you I'll take you back any day because I love you y/n and you know that, I have actual feelings for you babygirl but I just want you to be happy" he said as he stroked my cheek lightly . I smiled and kissed him again "thank you Brandon" I say .
He got up and went to the stove to get the food .
Zion kept crossing my mind ... I miss him . I don't regret what I did with Brandon , I do have emotions for Brandon and feelings towards him but I just don't love him like I love Zion.
I want to call Zion so he can come over so that him and I can talk while Brandon is gone . I wanna do that so bad but at the same time I don't wanna because I don't want to hurt Brandon .
I just hope that no mater what happens that Brandon don't think any differently of me because he's a great person .
