Anielica

Elena

Time lost all meaning to Elena. Had it been days, weeks, months, years since he'd left? She couldn't be sure. The only thing she was sure of was: that she woke with the sun and slept when it set. Each day passing the same as the last. She spoke only when spoken to. Attended meals with the other druids. Attended botany, healing and midwifery classes. Nenneke sometimes encouraged her to attend magic lessons but her powers had vanished the day he left, and they hadn't returned. But Nenneke still sat with her for an hour every so often, encouraging and pushing her until she finally grew frustrated from effort. Nenneke knew her powers were buried somewhere deep inside of her, and she didn't want to give up on her just yet.

The other druids had long given up on Elena. And she in turn, had long given up in trying to remember their names. They did try very hard with her the first few months. They had been patient, kind and understanding. But after months of nothing but silence and a vacant, hollow expression, they had left her alone. They no longer greeted her in classes or at the meal table. She was glad of it. It was exhausting having to listen and respond. When her duties were done for the day, she would excuse herself to her chamber and stare out of her window, and sit there until the sun went down. Each night she enjoyed a rare moment of peace as she watched the sun transform the horizon into a dazzling amber. She would watch it until it finally turned black, then she would crawl into bed and try not to think of him.

She shuddered as she remembered the first few days after he had left. She had acted like a crazed animal. Screaming, crying, throwing away plates of food when they had brought them to her. She tried to escape the temple at least twice a day. Nenneke had to assign a Druid to watch over her day and night, she even slept in the same bed with her for a while. It was on the fourth day of this that she happened to look at her self in the mirror, that she decided that this behaviour couldn't go on. She didn't recognise the feral girl that stared back at her.
From that day, she banished all thought of him from her mind. She wouldn't even think his name. Wouldn't dare picture his face.
The priestesses too after a while stopped speaking of him in her presence.

A lone time ago, Nenneke had tried to encourage Elena to speak about him.
She couldn't.
Didn't she understand that even just hearing his name was like a fresh stab to the chest? But Nenneke had been relentless, kept pushing her until Elena had doubled over, pleading weakly for her to stop. All the while, gasping for breath, clutching desperately at her sides, like she was trying to hold herself together.
After that, no one said his name again. Elena had gotten very good at not thinking of him. But he always came to her in her dreams, and each night she woke screaming. At first, druids had come running at the sounds of her screams but they had long grew accustomed to them. No one came to comfort her anymore.

She lay in bed listening to her pounding heart, her eyes trying to see details in her chamber that would distract her from the face she had seen in her dreams. A face that she was so very frightened to forget, but too painful to remember. She lay very still, just breathing deeply until her heart returned to a somewhat normal rhythm. The dreams were easier to shake off now. Slowly, she got out of bed and walked towards the window, and pulled aside the fine, sheer curtain. It was almost dawn. She might as well get up and dress.
She dressed slowly in her plain, red robes, the same ones as the other druids. But Elena knew she wasn't in training to become one. Nenneke didn't know what to with her. She mostly let Elena ramble about the the temple alone, not expecting or asking anything from her other than the classes she was told to go to after breakfast. She didn't mind anymore. The classes weren't particularly challenging, they kept her body and hands busy but her mind was always elsewhere.
She waited until the sunlight flooded into her room before studying her reflection for the first time in a long, long time. It wasn't an impressive sight, she barely resembled the young, beautiful girl she had once been. She looked extremely small, even to herself, and thin. Her hair didn't shine anymore and her former lustrous skin was dull and sickly pale. Her eyes were the worst. Ringed with deep, black hollows, they were so lifeless she couldn't even tell what colour they were. She grimaced at her reflection before leaving her chamber.