Letters to Everyone

A Letter to My Boyfriend

I don't know how to talk to you. Recently, something's been going on; conversation does not flow easily. I feel like I am constantly having to coax stories out of you, and every time I do, they're depressing. For some reason, you are not willing to be happy. I am a generally happy person, and every time I pick up the phone to talk to you, it kinda sucks.

I'll ask you how your day was, you say "shitty, as usual." You are such a pessimist. It's hard for me to listen to all of this. I really care for you, and I want you to be happy, but you say that all your happiness comes from my presence. That isn't healthy, and it's a lot to put on me. I'll be off to college in a year, and you're heading to the military. I promise we are not going to stay together. I won't let us. I like you, but it will be better for both of us to end it before the heartbreak from the distance happens. But I'm worried. You say your happiness comes from me, and I feel trapped. 

I'm worried about what will happen when it ends.

I feel like a therapist on our phone calls, always trying to get you to focus on the good things, to tell me stories about good things that don't involve me. I literally have to give you the conversation topic like "latest thing you fixed" or "biggest fish you caught" to get you to talk about something good, and even then, the stories are pessimistic! 

It's so hard to talk to you.

From,

Your concerned girlfriend