Before Lock down, things used to be so much simpler. This one time, I met my wife at the zoo, there she was in her uniform. I knew straight away she was a keeper. Sadly though, things have gotten a lot more tricky now. However, now that I think about it, quarantine has had it's upsides, like I've tried my hand at competitive eating and now I see my steadily increasing stretch marks as badges saying "Congratulations! You cleared out the biscuit tin in under a minute!".
On the telly I've seen loads of people videoing themselves frolicking around outside and I'm just thinking to myself, "what's the point?? It's not like there's anyone to actually see you get gradually slimmer, just be like us and lie in bed all day, thinking about when the Tesco delivery man is going to deliver your next batch of 'pork scratchings'.
Another thing I've noticed is that all the delivery men and women seem to be playing a nation-wide game of 'knock down ginger'. Just this time they leave you a present for your troubles, unlike the usual gift of rising anger at what your going to do to whoever woke the lion that is you, and the crushing depression at the knowledge that, not only will you never catch them, the 'lion' is actually just a slightly overweight man in his underwear.
The truth is, we just aren't very adaptable (or admirable) and really, how can we hope to cope in these ever changing times?
(I will try and update this page daily-ish. So you ungrateful lot have no shortage of local satirical comedy) :P
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Lockdown Ginger
Humor( still in progress) A parody of the infamous 'knock down ginger' (the art of knocking on someone's door and bolting before they see you). This collection of comedy sketches focuses on the working class of Britain and their coping methods in these t...
