Everything is Going Okay

Chapter 4

It's been a week since I had Nikolai, and he's been declining ever so slightly.

He drops to horrible levels during the night, so they try to keep him on a schedule so they can monitor him exactly on time.

It's the worst feeling ever knowing that you just have to let it be, there's nothing you can do.

I go and visit him during visiting hours, 4-8. I can only hold his hand as of right now.

Within the next few days, they said we could try skin to skin, we just have to wait until he reaches 3 pounds at least.

They also said that if he's healthy, we can take him home at 5 lbs.

I've been nothing but obsessing over him.

"Miss Evans?" The nurse asked as she opened the visiting room door.

"Yes?" I replied.

"I'm supposed to update you on Nikolai. He is starting to develop some pretty extreme disorders. Not only Hydrocephalus, we detected Epilepsy and possible Meningitis."

"Oh wow." I said.

"Yes, he has been experiencing seizing movements, caused by the epilepsy. They aren't full on seizures yet, but they will develop into that."

"Oh my god. Is there any medication or treatment you could give him to stop it?"

"Well, we can, but considering his overall condition, it could worsen it."

"There's still a slight possibility it could make him better, right?"

"Well actually the window is quite large. About a 30 to 40% chance of survival, but still, it could be something to consider."

Just then Matthew walked in.

We filled him in, and the nurse left us to talk.

"I think we should give it a try." Matthew started.

"Why? You do realize the consequences? We could lose him!" I cried.

"Dylin, we are already losing him. I know you don't want to hear it, but it's true. This medicine could get him to the 5 pounds he needs to be healthy and go home." Matthew explained.

"Okay. We'll try it." I said.

"Great," the nurse started. "I walked in at the right time."

She smiled as she walked over to close the hand holes in Nikolai's incubator. Visiting time was over.

We walked out to our car.

We talked about him the whole ride to Jaiden's house.

They offered to take care of Violet and Alyna while we visited Nikolai.

When we walked in, the girls were asleep on the couch.

We sat down and talked to Jaiden and Melanie.

"I honestly think you guys made the right decision." Jaiden said, "Its going to help him in the long run."

The guys went to the kitchen to watch football while Melanie and I picked up the sleepy-bugs, and just held them tight, we slowly rocked back and forth.

"So, how's babygirl doing?" I asked Melanie.

"Great! I think we've picked out a name. Jillian Gray."

"Aw! I can't believe you used my middle name! I love it!"

"It fit absolutely perfectly." Melanie said, "It just felt too right. Dylin Gray, Jillian Gray."

I smiled as we put the girls in their car seats and headed home.