The Girl In The Mirror

Bad Thoughts

      I walked over to Kaitlyn's house, I was scared since nobody really knows yet that I'm still here. So I slowly walk up to the door, and I knock a couple times. Then surprisingly, Kaitlyn comes to the door. Her face went pale, like she saw a ghost and I can't blame her. I started to say hi but was cut off in a instant. She then hugged me and started crying, which I did the same.
Kaitlyn: Where'd you go?
Ally: It wasn't my fault, I'm sorry
       She then let me inside and we talked a lot. I explained everything to her, I told her about Luke, my mom, every last detail. And I was trying to hold back those tears from everything,  all the bad things, God if I just stayed home then maybe it wouldn't have happened like this, I could've still been with my mom and I wouldn't be hurting all the time, whether it's physically or mentally. I guess that's how life goes now, it's changed so much, why did it have to change? Then luckily I was aloud to stay so I don't have to sleep outside or anything, and I was offered some new clothes too! I was really happy since I've been wearing the same red hoodie, ripped jeans, and red converse for the past 3 months now. I was given a yellow t shirt, some leggings, and some yellow vans. I was really grateful to my friend and her family, I just needed to make a plan now. What would I do? I can't just stay here forever, I need a job. "I'm 16, If it comes to me needing money to help get back with society it's what I will do." I said to myself. I thought of my mom when I said this, she always used to worry about me and look at me now! I hope she's proud of me. Then I went out and ate dinner with Kaitlyn. It was really nice to be eating good again, but for some reason I didn't wanna eat. I felt gross when I did so I didn't eat much, Luke probably would've said the same, that I shouldn't eat cause I'm fat or gross, God I hate him. "No. Stop thinking about him, he isn't in your life anymore so don't let him in." I thought this to myself and eventually I gave up on trying to eat. Then I was sent to the guest room and left alone for a while. I sat there for a while thinking just hearing Luke's insults in my mind
Useless
Trash
Unloved
Fat
Gross
Selfish
I started crying quietly in bed, I didn't want to be more of a burden then I already am. So eventually I finally gave in, I let the voices eat at me while I laid in bed, almost all night actually. I hated it so much, I told myself that I wouldn't give in but I did. Those thoughts. All the bad thoughts. Eventually I fell asleep, but it still hurts. Those things he did and what happened the past 3 months kept playing in my head. I wasn't even safe in my dreams anymore. So I stopped trying, He won.

(A/N: Hey guys I'm sorry for the short chapter! I was having trouble coming up with ideas. Please leave some if you have any and I'll try and find something!)

~Word Count: 577~