Little Toy Guns

Chapter 2

Tears are streaming down my face. It all was running through my head.

“Are you okay, Carrie?"

“I remember sitting there, in between the coats in the closet.  I held on to my heart shape locket staring at them, but it wasn't a pretty picture. Mom and daddy just wouldn't stop it. They were fighting at the drop of a faucet. It cut throughout the walls catastrophic and I was caught in the crossfire. I would put my hands over my ears and talk through the tears.  I was saying, I was praying." I explained to Miranda.

Tears ran down my cheeks harder than ever.  I was bawling and I just couldn't stop it. All the memories and thoughts of what happened.  It was so hard to sit there and think about it let alone talk to her about it, but I did feel some what better.  There was a lot I still needed to get off my chest though.

“Are you okay? You are crying really hard. I think maybe you should stop for a little while.  We can meet up later and talk about it. You need to get you rest."

“Okay." I said.

We went up stairs and into my bedroom.  She stood in the doorway and said, “I will see you tomorrow.  Get you rest."

“I'll try, but I'm not making any promises." I answered sleepily. Shortly after she left I fell asleep.

I'm sitting in the closet of our house.  In between the coats.  They are yelling, they are fighting and I am caught in between the crossfire.  Mom and daddy just wouldn't stop it. I am so scared. I am bawling and I can't stand it any more.  I don't know what to do and I am so confused. I put my hands over my ears and started talking through all the tears.  Why do they have to do this?  I was praying to God to make them stop. It's not a pretty picture tonight and I just wanted it to go away.  All their talking cut through the walls.  I wish....

Oh my.  It was just a dream.  I was sweating profusely and I was crying. I can't think about this right now.  I got up and took a shower.  When I got out it was seven and I went down stairs to get some breakfast.  I walked over to the cupboard and got out pancake mix.  I mixed it and added peanut butter.  I poured it in the pan and when it got golden I flipped it.  Then I sat at the bar when it was done. Just as I finished my phone rang.  It was Mark.

“Carrie, are you coming in today?  We need to think of ideas for songs."

“Sorry.  I forgot, be right there."

How could I forget?  I get there and sit down.

“Do you have any ideas, Carrie?" Mark asked.

“What if we wright a song about getting baptized and that after that the person is changed."

“Wow. How did you come up with that?"  He asked.

“Personal experience," I said.

After I grew up with my parents fighting all the time I got baptized.  I felt so much stronger.  It was like there was something in the water.

We started to wright the song and my experience came through in the song.  I went back home and Miranda texted me.

Miranda: Are you busy?

Me: No. Why?

Miranda: Do you want to finish what you were telling me?

Me: Sure.

Miranda: Okay. Be over in a few.

I'm getting nervous just thinking about it.  How am I going  do this?  I had a panic attack last night and that wasn't even the hard part.

Knock, knock.  I take a deep breath and open the door.