JINRŌ | JOSHLER

02

If Josh pretends to be fast asleep when Tyler's ready to kick him out of his bed, that's his business and his alone.

If he pretends to snore loudly while Tyler zips his fly and leaves the room, that's also still his business.

Being painfully in love with his childhood friend who happened to only be interested in being best friends with a few benefits taught Josh that he had to go to certain lengths to make himself a more permanent figure in the other boy's life.

Josh recognizes that it's not the best position to be in as a wave of anxiety washes over him.

Tyler's room smelled of Tyler, of course, but with Josh's height senses it was started to be too much. The dirty clothes hamper in the corner, the sweaty sheets, Tyler gym bag, and the vanilla candle on the dresser started to morph into a purely overwhelming and borderline pungent scent and Josh couldn't help but let a few tears slide down his face as the sound of Tyler's footsteps got further away.

As he cried, all Josh could hear was the blood rushing in his ears. He didn't even register Tyler coming back into the room and sitting on the bed, begging Josh to speak to him.

"Josh, come on, you have to talk to me. I didn't hurt you, right? Please say something, you're killing me dude."

"M'fine. Just tired."

"Want me to drive you home?" Tyler tries.

Josh doesn't reply.

"You wanna crash on the couch?"

'How could he even ask that?' Josh thinks bitterly.

"I'm gonna walk home." Josh wipes his face and awkwardly scurries out of the bed.

"Are you sure you're up for that? I don't mind driving you-"

"I said I'm walking!" Josh snaps and shrugs his previously discarded hoodie on. "Quit bitching at me, Joseph."

"What the fuck is your problem?!"

"You!" Josh all but whines.

"Me?! You were just all over me and now I'm you're problem?!"

"Yes! You're my problem! I just wanna stay with you all the time and be, like, in love you and shit, Ty! But you act like that's the worst thing in the world and I can't handle it!"

"Josh, you sound like a girl." Tyler laughs and Josh swears that he sees red.

"Tyler!" Josh stomps his right foot onto the hardwood floor.

"Shut up, you're gonna wake up my parents."

"You're not listening to me!" Josh whisper-shouts and presses his back flat to the wall.

"Because you're not making any fucking sense." Tyler grumbles and crosses his legs.

"Why don't you love me?" Josh lets his body sink down.

It would be very convenient if his body would just soak into the floor right then and there.

"I love you, but not like that, J." Tyler sighs. "I just can't date guys. We talked about this last year."

"Can't or won't?" Josh nearly growls. "And why am I just a guy? I've been attached to your hip since seventh grade. Cut me some fucking slack."

"Josh, stop, I'm just not gay. If I was, I'd totally put a ring on that." Tyler's attempt to lighten the mood falls flat.

"You're pretty gay when you're begging me to take my pants off, but I guess that's irrelevant, right?" Josh grunts.

"Dude, just drop it. If you want to stop screwing around, fine, but stop talking about being in love with me and stuff. It's weird."

"I'm the weird one? Fucking fine. You're the worst person to be in love with anyway, dork." Josh stands up and goes to open the door before Tyler speaks up.

"You're calling me a dork? You're the one in advanced math, nerd."

"Is that supposed to be a Asian joke?" Josh snorts. "My God, Tyler, I knew your backwoods heritage wouldn't put you above that."

"You callin' me a redneck, pretty boy?" Tyler brings on his best (worst) southern accent. "Why, I oughta teach ya a lesson.

"My heart and asshole hurts. I'm going home, Ty."

"Fine. We'll just have a sleepover next weekend."

"So persistent."

"You love me."

"I pity the girl you marry." Josh turns back to the door and Tyler catches his hand.

"I hope whatever guy you snag realizes how lucky he is to have you."

Tyler's new tone makes Josh wonder just how sincere he may be and that slows him his train of thought for a couple seconds before he can snark back.

"You trying to make me cry again? You got a thing for snot-nosed boys weeping in your room?"

"Maybe."

"Come drive me home, you sadist."