𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖮𝗇𝖾

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I felt a timid tug on the left sleeve of my thin white dress shirt. I had to physically shake my head to bring myself to the reality as it is now.

I slowly glance over to my left side and needless to say, a smile tugs the corners of my mouth.

I saw a blob of messy snow white hair that instinctively made me want to slide my hand in between each of the lonely strands of that blob. I then brung my eyes down to his face that twisted into something laced with concern.

His face felt as if it genuinely showed the emotion of concern. I know it was real concern, because that was the Atsushi I knew. I wanted to break down and just hug him, because I wished that I was with him for the first could years of my life.

I could tell he saw the look of pain in my eyes, because he immediately closed the distance between us with his body against mine.

"Don't have those bad memories, (F/N)..."

Staring off into the sky, I could only see Dazai's teasing face in front of me. His face, his voice, everything was based around him. I wanted to just rub my eyes out until I could no longer see him in my mind.

"...Think of me (F/N)... please," I felt his hug tightened, "...don't think of the guy that hurt you..."

It's so hard.

Atsushi, I can't. It's so beyond hard. I loved him so much. I loved him to the point where I had no other purpose in life besides him. I wanted him so badly. The desires ate at me inside like a parasite eating up the dominant host. It was as if the parasite was Daizai Osamu.

"... I know it's hard (F/N)," he whispered out lowly, "but I want to be on your mind instead..."

Pulling away from the hug, I connected our foreheads together in a way where both of ours eyes met in a beautiful way underneath the warm glow of the sunset sky.

His eyes glistened lightly in the beautiful sunrise sky, I saw the wet looking drops in the corner of his eyes threatening to fall.

I brought my right hand up to his cheek, soon rubbing my thumb softly against his reddened skin. I saw him close his eyes ever so slightly, leaning into my delicate touch.

As a result of him closing his eyes though, the tear dropped from his closed lids. My hand was able to catch and wipe the tears before it dragged its way down Atsushi's flawless face.

"I promise I won't ever let any hurt this perfect face of yours, Atsushi." I flowed my hand against his warm skin as he leaned deeper into my touch.

I know he still had bad memories from that god-forsaken orphanage so I gave him the one action that always comforted him in any situation.

I kissed him on the forehead.

I pulled away from the skin contact as I turned to face towards the horizon with the sunrise in the distance. I could see him visibly pout as he turned towards the horizon as well.

I unconsciously scooted closer to Atsushi so that the warmth between us could cancel the cold wind flowing throughout the land; while we tried to ignore the grumbling within our stomachs.

I was about to stand up and leave when I saw something floating in the river.

Not something; someone.

"What the hell..." I looked over to Atsushi and I could tell that he was staring at the same exact thing as I was. "Uh... let's go Atsushi." I grab his hand as I tried to lift him off the floor. There are so many crazies out there. I then saw crows dramatically perching on his feet.

Me and Atsushi continued to just watch him past until Atsushi finally had enough of watching the man go past like it's nothing. He jumped face first into the river, screaming 'fine!'

"Wait Atsu-!"

He literally pulls the man out of the river bank, and I opted to leave. "Uh, Atsushi, I think he's dead so let's leave." I had already turned around at that point, not even taking a glance at the man.

I could hear heavy breathing behind me as the white-haired tried to catch his breath. He suddenly then starts talking, and for whatever reason, I couldn't hear the other voice. Maybe he's talking to himself. Turning around, I was gonna take the pale male's hand and run off, but then I met eyes with someone I never wanted to see again.

His eyes widen as he stared at me with a silent shocked face.

It felt as if time itself stopped around us.

I tried to remove my eyes from him.

But I couldn't.

'Run.'

I wanted to run.

I wanted to just run. I don't know if I would've stopped for that white-haired kid I couldn't even remember the name to.

What was his name?

Asume?

Asuki?

Ataki?

What the hell..

Was this always the effect of this man on me? The effect where I would forget everything around me? My surroundings, the people, even the name of my best friend?

I couldn't take my eyes off of him when the slightest of actions showed. He licked his lightly dry lips as he tried to speak, he couldn't.

Just like how I couldn't either.

Fuck dude, I wanted to cry.

I wanted to slam my knees on the floor like that moment all those years ago. I wanted to just break down all the way until the point of no return. I laughed mentally as I remembered all those reasons why in the past I was hurting.

It was all because of this one man.

The one man who I looked up to for such a long time in my life.

Who knew Dazai Osamu could do such things to me face-to-face?

// ❝ 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗆𝖾 ❞ シ // ✔︎Where stories live. Discover now