Day 200. A Harry Styles, One Direction Fanfic

Part 12. I'm Sick.

Day 101.

They said that being deeply in love with someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Being deeply in love with Grace is a bit different, it's confusing in ways but it's genuine. 

Sometimes it seems like it'd be nice to have a crystal ball that could tell us what the future held and where relationships would lead. Unfortunately, no one has invented such a device, and we're left to wonder about what lies ahead, weighing the pros and cons of potential paths.

We lay down on her bed, looking through the window and saw the stars are going back to hide as the sun started to rise. She loved the little performance that i did, and thought that it might piss off the neighbors. But no complaints were heard after.

"Endlessly was a good song choice", she chuckled. Mouthing a spoonful of ben and jerry's in to her mouth, then i opened my mouth, literally begging for more.

"Yeah course", i replied with choco chips inside my mouth.

"That's very romantic of you"

"When am i not romantic?"

She chuckled,"Don't go way out yourself. but yeah never. you're pretty great"

"10 out of a 10?"

"15 out of a fucking 10", she crooked a smile. 

Holding her hand tight as if i'm supporting her through her tears. Winding my arm around her waist, because i would never want to let her go. Kissing her forehead to make her feel loved.  

"I'm sick", she said quietly. Tears build up in the corner of her eyes.

It was nearly sunrise, and we haven't slept. We talked for ages and cuddled in between, sometimes night like this makes everything much more special. And after the absence from avoiding each other.

"What do you mean?", she snuggled between my ribs and my arm, holding my hoodie tight by her grip. Her voice faint.

"I'm sick. as in not healthy"

I paused, "how sick are you?"

"Pretty sick that i don't want to get your hopes up", she laughed.

"Well i don't mind", i whispered. My chin on top of her head, feeling her rise and fell above my chest. She had this coconut scented shampoo that i loved.

"I'm really sick"

"But that doesn't make me stop loving you, babe"

"I can't go out on trips, and i might be so sick i can't leave the house at one point. Or even my bed", she held back her tears. I can feel she had a lump on her throat causing every word she said in pain.

I stroked her cheeks, "Then i will be with you all the time"

"You're a busy man, and i thought i'd kill both of us to be in distance. and everything would go wrong"

"Is this why you told me not to fall in love with you?", she nodded.

I chuckled, "Grace.. I love you through sickness and health. It's okay"

"You don't know how horrid i can be when i'm sick. And i don't want to lose you. I'm", she paused, "afraid of dying".

I went silent, that's a lot of this to digest in such short notice. But i can't lie that i've saw this coming. She faints every now and then, she always look pale with red eyes.

"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die", i gripped her hand tight. Remembering what my grandad told me once before he died.

"I have cancer", she shut her eyes tight, closing down from the world.

She started to cry hard, and she rolled her body next to mine. I put both my hands supporting the weight of her body and pulled her in closer. My fingers clawed in, and my face was burried in her hair. My heart beated fast, and the lump feeling on my throat bursted out, the rush through my skin as i felt myself crying along side her.

"It's okay", "it's going to be okay", i repeatedly say, rocking her body back and forth slightly. Her fingers held my biceps strong enough to leave red marks, but it was okay. The pain was both ways.

"I'm not sure how i'll be, because the doctors said that there is a poor chance of survival. But they found me in an early stage where it is 30 percent chance of recovery. And if you do the maths, that's not a big number at all".

"Hey, look at me. You're strong. The Grace that i fell in love is a strong woman, she can get through anything. You have me", i pulled her hand towards where my heart was supposed to be, "My heart beats for you. Okay?", she held a smile.

"Harry, it's not that easy. I don't want to leave you, i don't want to leave this world. not just yet", she sounded uneasy.

"I made you promise not to fall in love with me, you promised", she reminded.

"Those sort of promises are hard to keep, where i've fallen in love with you from the months i've seen you at the tube", she laughed.

"See i love your laugh, it makes me happy seeing it. come on now, no more crying. We can get through this", i pulled her into a hug. But can we?