Day 200. A Harry Styles, One Direction Fanfic

Part 17. Still The One

Day 130 

It’s devistating that I have to leave London for quite some while. The next 10 days I will be sat writing songs, and doing recordings in a studio in LA. I was told that we're going to work with one of the famous writers, and producers. And there was a lot of publicity that needs to be done, so we had to attend red carpets and silly parties. Seriously, I don’t get why we can’t just do the writing here, i'd most likely have the same result. It would save a lot of time in process.

The other lads are pretty stoked for it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s pretty exciting. All of this, it’s still new to me. Being famous and busy was all I’ve dreamed about. But now, I want a normal life. I want to be able to spend my time with Grace.

She’s been furious lately, always moody, always crying. It's already hard enough to cope through her sickness, even i'm not the one living with it. But if i loved her, i might as well love her through her sickness.  I’ve googled this, and it’s just another stage of people having cancer.

Louis told me the other day, “She just need your support mate”.

“I always give her support. I’m always there”

“If you can count us four in, that’s more moral support”, Zayn nodded.

“That would mean a lot”, I patted them on the back.

And they didn’t lie, these last few days they’ve come with me to Grace’s house. Bringing gifts, or their guitars. We’ll just sit around, and her nan would cook us the most wonderful home-made meals. The things that we miss.

Today, it was only the two of us. Snuggled infront of the telly, watching the reruns of Dr. Who. There was this victoria secret fashion show thing today, and of course all the boys wanted to come. They got free tickets from Rosie, and I chose to spend today with Grace.

“Seriously why aren’t you going?”, she brought up the topic again.

“I’d like to have a relaxing day, and with you”, I messed up her hair. What’s left of it anyways. She always wears a bandana or a hat inside the house.

“You’ll probably have a better time seeing all those girls in lingarie”

“That doesn’t matter does it. I want to take care of you”, I whispered.

“I hate this!”, she suddenly leaped out of my arms and threw the pillow beside her.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”, I hold both her arms tight. She was struggling to let go.

“I hate being sorried for. I’m not going to live the rest of my life getting all the pity”, tears were the evidence on her cheeks showing how hurt and filled with rage she was at the moment.

“Listen to me”, I said.

She looked away from me,

“Listen to me!”, I have yelled at her.  She tilted her head slowly, as if she’s afraid to look at me.

“I’m sorry for shouting. But you can’t do this to yourself”, I pulled her into a hug.

At first she was resisting, but my hands cupped her bony back and held her tight. We stayed in the embrace for awhile longer. I can feel her heart beat againts mine, she sobbed endlessly. She kept punching my chest lightly, still angry.

When she pulled away, my shirt was soaked with her tears. Droplets of tears stil running through her eyes. She was so fragile.

“Let me show you something. Come here babe”, I stood up slowly and asked her hand. At first she looked like she doubted me, but I made a convincing look. She nodded slightly, and still refusing to look me straight in the eye.

I guided her up to the stairs, and in to the bathroom. Grace was confused, she refused to look at the mirror. “Now, look at the mirror”, I whispered into her ears.

We both stared into the mirror. I see myself, my curly hair messed up, one hand on her waist. With my upper part of the shirt, soaking wet from her tears. Showing the sculpted part of mine. Then next to me, was my girl friend. Her height was right bellow my jaw, she used to fit perfectly in my arms. Now she’s too skinny. Skin white and pale from not being out in the sun much. Eyes are blood shot red from crying too much.

“I see a sick girl”, she answered.

“Now, that’s about perspective. I don’t see a sick girl. What else?”

She looked back to the mirror, studying herself. “I don’t see me”. I sighed and opened her bandana, she looked at me with anger. She never let me see her without it. She always told me that I might be disgusted by her looks.

“Trust me”, I slowly unfold it. I tried not to be too shocked to see it, she was.. completely bold. She didn’t even have one hair on her head, I keep imagining the way it was before. Her long flowy hair, then her short modest style. It has lead to this.

“Harry… I only see a sick girl”, she touched her head. I folded the bandana neatly, and put it beside the sink. There were my colognes and after shave scattered, because I was basically living here and all.

“I don’t see it”, I fixed a smile. She did forced a tiny laugh out of he mouth. My fingertips run through her head. It was cold, and I can feel her scalp. Tears run down through her face again, and it did hurt me this time.

“I see the girl I fell in love with. Her smile, and sense of humor might fade away a little throughout the days”, she hitted me on the arm a little for this and laughed, “Now that’s what I want to see”, I touched her lips with my thumb.

“I don’t want you to be repulsed by this”

“I’m not. Not saying you have low self esteem. But you should think of all the good things about you. I feel in love for your smile, I don’t want that to go now. I want that smile to say, hell. I want to be the reason for you to smile”

She did genuinely smile. I took my wallet out, then I searched for a certain picture.

I let out a folded photobox of us both. There were four set, one was us making faces, her fingers were up my nose and mine on her cheeks. The second one was her arms around my neck, and she looked at me with love, while I smiled to the camera. The third one was me kissing her cheeks, and she closed her eyes. And the forth, was us kissing, and her flowy hair covered somewhat of our faces.

“Look at how happy we were”, I handed it over to her.

She looked down at the picture and back up. “I look different”

“Hair or no hair, doesn’t make it any different. It’s here what’s important”, I steped behind her and hugged her around her shoulders, and pointed where her heart is.

She held the picture, and my hands tight. I kissed her cold and bald head. This was too much, but I’ll be the one strong enough for both of us. We have to keep going.

“Grace, you know I will be with you every step of the way. I would not want to lose any moment being with you. Okay? Now all you can do, is stop being sad. And try to see it from another perspective, another pair of eyes”, I talked to her slowly..

She nodded, understanding what I meant. “Harry, you’re brilliant. Good looking, famous. You’re everything a woman can wish for. Why settle with me?”, she looked at me, searching for an answer through the reflection in the mirror.

I let out a deep sigh and smiled, “Because you’re still the one”