When he came to live with me

I'm Coming Out

Kev was laying on a couch in the living room watching his favourite show as I secretly stared at him. It had been almost a year since he moved in with me and we had become so much closer. He used to tell every single detail of his day. I felt like I should tell him my deepest secrets too. So, I took a long breath and seated myself next to him.

Kevin never hesitated calling me names, specially teasing me as a 'gay boy'. He would play his flirty tricks on me and I would blush. Then he would grab the opportunity to joke that I was gay. Now I felt that he should know I really was a gay boy madly in love with him.

So, I started,"Hey, can I steal your attention from the TV for a moment!?

"You already did," he remarked, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"This is really serious," I tried to make him look at me,"It's something about me that I've been hiding from you."

That made him turn off the TV and lend me his total attention.

"Go on then..."

"It's that..." I stuttered as I confessed, "I don't get attracted to the people that you get attracted to."

He was a little confused and tried to figure out what I was saying and then protested, "I don't speak gibberish, Luc!"

"Okay Kev, I don't know how to say this so I'll put it straight!"I took a long breath as he stared at me, "I'm gay!"

At that moment, I felt as if he was blossoming with joy for some reason beyond my comprehension. I saw his face light up and his lips beginning to widen and rise for a brief moment before he hid his emotion and stated,"I've known that for a while now... Nothing new to me!"

I was startled and speechless. I didn't know what I should do so I took off from the couch and crashed into my bed. I sobbed.

'Of course he knew! How can you be so naïve. He has known you since childhood! How can you expect that he hadn't figured that out yet!!!', my subconscious shouted at me reminiscing all our cuddles

"So... How did it go?" I heard his voice from behind me.

I turned around, perplexed by his presence and words.

"Sorry?"

He acted normal and stated,"Oh! Heard you just came out to your best friend. How did it go?"

He was playing me.

"I am feeling stupid as I expected he hadn't figured it out yet."

"I was messing with you, Luc", he assured, "But I knew."

"Hmm...", I turned towards him and questioned,"How did you know? When?"

"It's weird but I always kinda knew that you were gay," he paused, "Maybe it's how you repelled girls from seducing you since school"

I chuckled and he followed.

"It's okay," he reassured and gave me a hug before stating, "Nothing's gonna change. You are still you and you won't miss out any of my hugs and teases! I promise. And I'm really glad you were brave enough to finally cone out of the closet."

I smiled and looked at him. I needed to tell him the other one too. I could not hold it back. But I could not guarentee that he didn't know that secret too. So, I just went for it.

"There is something else too..."

He looked into my eyes as I said it.

"I love you, Kes!"

He was bamboozled. His face stiffened as the smile he just had disappeared slowly and I could never know what he must have felt then. I felt guilty.

"I'm not asking you to love me back... I mean I know you do, but not in that way," I startled,"I just wanted you to know that... I understand, you're straight. You can never return what I want. Just needed to get it off my chest."

I broke into tears and he froze. His hands were still hugging me tightly. Then he spoke,"It's okay, Luc." He paused for a while and spoke again,"I respect you addressed it. I acknowledge how much courage and bravery you gathered to tell me... your feelings about me. I owe you a lot, Luc. And I love you a lot too! You have a special place in my heart forever. But I'm sorry."

"Hey..." I interrupted, trying to stop sobbing, "Don't apologize, please!"

He gave me a firm hug then. His warmth was nourishing me. I could feel it. i never felt that before. It was like a fire had ignited in me. That same feeling I got when I danced with him.

"I don't mind giving you a nudge!"

He said that statement innocently but we both knew what he meant with that. I laughed as tears rolled down my cheeks and I gazed at him. He wiped my tears as he laughed with me. He was teasing me again.

"I'm quite sure I wouldn't need that" I assured him.

"Well you know you can count on me when you need it!" he informed.