Holding On With Someday (Holding On Series #1)

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"There are still things that you don't know."

Amusement parks. I have never been into a place like this, never had a chance especially when my parents died. They were always busy with their business, though hindi naman nila ako pinapabayaan, they always find time for me kaso sa bahay lang kami, nanunuod ng series, kumakain, tapos after nun business na ulit sila.

We were happy back then. It was all enough for me. Especially when they told me over the phone when they were heading back home here in the Philippines that they both made up their mind to stop going on business trips because they fear that I'm getting used to not having them around most of the time.

Years have passed already but everything seems so fresh to me. I was crying back then, hearing my mom's voice, calming me. I was happy, knowing that I'm going to spend my time with them without worrying that they will leave again but I guess, the Philippines used to never having them here with me and so God decided to take them away from me, for good.

Hindi nila ako iniwan na walang-wala dahil iniwan nila lahat sa'kin ng mayroon sila pero mas pipiliin ko ng mahirap kami basta kasama ko sila. I miss them. So much.

"Are you okay?" Inakbayan ako ni Calli, nakapasok na kami sa loob ng park at matagal na pala akong nakatayo dito.

"I'm fine," sabi ko naman habang nakangiti sa kanya.

"Tara na," yaya niya.

Nagsimula na kaming sumakay sa mga rides, pilit kong iniwasan iyong rides na alam kong hindi kakayanin ng puso ko. Natawa ako nang malaman ko na may kinatatakutan din pala si Timo. Sumakay kasi kami sa vikings, kahit alam kong medyo may pagkahard din iyon, sinubukan ko pa rin, at pinayagan naman ako ni Grace.

Pero si Timo halos maiyak siya nang magsimula na 'yun tumaas ng tumaas, doon pa naman kami sa pinakadulo umupo para may thrill. Ang yabang pa niya nung una, inaasar tuloy siya ni Grace.

Sa ngayon, naghiwalay muna kaming apat dahil ferris wheel na iyong sasakyan namin. Kasunod lang namin sila Grace kaya kita pa rin nila kami pero ngayon, makakapag-usap kami na kami lang talaga.

"Pasensya ka na kela Grace at Timo ah," panimula ko.

"It's okay, I understand that they were there for you when I'm not. I should be thanking them instead," sabi niya. I pursed my lips to stop me from smiling widely. Naaalala ko pa rin kasi iyong sagot niya kela Grace nung nasa byahe kami, kinurot pa ako ni Grace nang palihim nung nakababa kami. Ang haba raw ng buhok ko.

Kaya hindi ako gaanong kinakabahan sa mga tanong nila Grace kasi alam kong deep inside may kalahating kagaguhan iyong mga tanong nila.

"Ayaw mo talagang sumakay sa rollercoaster?" tanong niya habang nakatanaw doon sa roller coaster.

"Ayoko talaga," umiiling kong sinabi habang nakatingin din doon.

"Bakit ayaw mo?" tanong niya, nakatingin na siya ngayon sa'kin.

Because I can't, hindi kaya ng puso ko. I wanted to say but instead, "There are still things that you don't know."

Halatang nagulat siya sa sinabi ko kaya ngumiti ako to ease the ambiance between us. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya at tumingin sa langit, nasa pinakataas na pala kami, tumigil na rin iyong ferris wheel. Saktong-sakto, parang ang lapit-lapit ko sa mga magulang ko. I smiled wider.

I'll tell him all soon, for now, I have to take it to step by step. I thought to myself.

"Even the reason for our break-up is still unknown," I sighed and looked at him, I saw his eyes on me. Hindi ko mabasa ang iniisip niya. I can't tell him everything all at once, so here it goes. One step at a time.