Acceptance

Second thoughts.

  "Where are you coming from? ",came the familiar deep baritone voice.
Ryan shivered as his gaze held that of his father's. He was in his early seventies with greying hair and brown eyes.  Although, you could see the signs of aging, he looked physically fit and healthy for a man his age.
"At work,  sir". His voice was barely audible.
The man scrutinised him. " Your secretary confirmed you left about four hours ago and you had no meetings with any one".
Ryan swallowed. "I was at a friend's"
There was a split second silence. "Did you know you were supposed to have a date with Audrey today "?, he taunted.
"yes sir, I did "
"and? "
" I cancelled ".
The older man stared at him but Ryan couldn't look back at him. His gaze was fixed on the floor.
"look at me",  he raised his voice.
Ryan did and he was rewarded with a hard slap across his face.  The impact of the slap tilted his head to the side. 
" you must set another date with her tomorrow, do I make myself clear? ",he bellowed.
He nodded.
" I can't hear you"
" yes sir,  I will".
"Good"
Ryan stood there as his father walked passed him towards the door.
He heard his steps stop but didn't turn his head to know why.
"I love you son", he said in a calm tone.
Spittle gathered at the back of his throat. He couldn't say it back. He tried but the words wouldn't form.  Fortunately, the elderly man didn't read any meaning into it.
He heard the door open and close.
He inhaled deeply. He wouldn't cry,  he wouldn't.

************************************

    Ryan sat on his bed and went through his laptop, reading and rereading emails.
He saw a video which he had never come across before.  With a frown, he clicked on it but it refused to play,  requiring a password.
Ryan looked puzzled. He typed in his password but it was futile.
He groaned. " what the fuck is going on? ".
His phone suddenly rang. He reached for it and pushed the answer button without looking at the name of the caller.
"I'm sorry I cancelled. I'll fix us another date tomorrow. Goodnight". He was about to hang up when that familiar voice that always cause the pulse of his heartbeat to increase drifted to his ears.
" This is Quinn "
Ryan mentally slapped himself. "sorry,  I thought you were Audrey "
"yeah. Are you okay?, you sounded pissed earlier. Is there something wrong? ".
Ryan swallowed. "I'm fine. Just tired. Why are you calling? ".
There was a moment of silence. " I can't believe there is only one day left before our one week is over".
" yeah,  me too.  Time flies quickly". Ryan's voice sounded weak and sad.
If Quinn noticed,  he didn't comment on it.
" So,  I was thinking we could go out tomorrow". Nick was invited to a club as a DJ downtown and we were invited. What do you say? "
" I don't know,  Quinn.
" if you don't want to,  it's okay. We could go somewhere quiet".
Ryan sighed. " Nick's a good guy and I would love to be there but I don't think I would be able to make it".
Silence ensued. " is it because of Audrey?. You have a date with her tomorrow"?.
" I'm sorry, Quinn. I just can't cope with all these. I'm sorry I can't complete the one week".
"it's okay,  Quinn replied. His voice wasn't lively as usual. I should  hang up,  it's late. You have to wake early tomorrow ".
"Quinn? ", he called,  his voice an octave higher.
"yeah? ".
" There is a video in my laptop  but it won't open without a password. I tried mine but it's not working.
"it's the date when we met for the first time"
"oh", Ryan sounded stunned.
"goodnight,  Ryan".
"you too,  Quinn", he replied.
Ryan stared at the phone for sometime before placing it back on the bedside table . He shifted his gaze back on the laptop and typed in the password of the date they met for the first time.
It began playing and his eyes widened in surprise as he watched it.

The video were many of their intimate moments together. Time in bed, in the shower, at breakfast,  when he was dozing off on a couch, when he was busy typing away at his laptop. It brought memories back, the good times and the bad,  the smiles and the frowns, the laughter and the tears. It left Ryan feeling like he had known Quinn for his entire life.
He chuckled softly when he felt the tears on his cheeks and wiped it off.
In a week's time he was going to marry a stranger,  someone whom he never share this moments with,  someone who never knew him. He was going to trade his happiness,  his chance for something wonderful for a perfect life,  a perfect family. Damn perfect,  he doesn't want to be perfect for anybody. He wanted to be himself and the only place he had ever been himself was with Quinn. The younger man made him feel perfect.
He watched the video over for so many times before closing the laptop and drifting off to sleep.