Friends with Benefits

Chapter 30

The train ride up to York seemed to take forever. Kyle's initial euphoria at getting the job had subsided, and now one thing was on his mind. The fact that he wouldn't be seeing Jessica after he moved to London. They had told him in the interview that he would have to work most weekends too, so he wouldn't be able to get the train up to York to see her. And anyway, once he was in London, he was sure to find someone there. And Jessica was sure to find someone closer to home.

He stared at his reflection in the train window. Jessica and he had agreed only last week that they weren't an item. So what was the problem? It would just be like saying goodbye to a friend. Or would it? He suspected he was lying to himself about Jessica. No, they weren't an item, yes, they were just having fun, things were casual, but... "I'll miss her," he thought. "I'll miss our dates on Friday nights, I'll miss the sex...I'll definitely miss the sex, she's amazing. But I'll miss her. There's something about her."

He knew he had been feeling it since they went to Edinburgh. She had fitted into his family seamlessly. She had been easy-going, charming and warm to everyone she had met. And the more he got to know her, the more he saw that side of her. Could he just say goodbye and end things? Was there anything to end?" He sighed. "If she knew I were thinking like this, she's run a mile," he thought. "The last thing she wants is a relationship. But I feel something for her. I shouldn't, but I do."

At last, the train pulled into York station. He was tired after the journey and headed straight home. He had until Wednesday to decide what to do about the job. "Of course I'll take it," he thought as he let himself into his apartment. "I can't stay working in a bar here forever." Just then, his phone beeped. He looked at it. "A message from Jessica," he thought. He opened it and saw a picture of her with another woman. They were holding drinks and standing in a pub. There was a message attached. "Making the most of a Friday alone!" He smiled, and looked at the photo for a long time. She was beautiful. More so than any woman he had ever dated. When she was ready to move on and find a steady boyfriend, she would have no trouble. He felt a twinge of jealousy at the thought. "Why do I feel like that? I have to stop thinking of us as an item."

He wrote back, "Looks like you're having a good time!" He pressed send and put his phone down on the table in the living room. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a beer. As he drank the refreshing cold liquid, he started to question what he was doing. When Jessica was ready to move on and settle down, which he was sure she would be eventually, he wanted to be there. He wanted to be the one. It had just taken time for him to admit it. Did that mean that he wanted commitment? What was commitment anyway? Wasn't he already committed? He wasn't seeing anyone else. He didn't even want to see anyone else. He was quite content to spend his Friday nights and Saturday mornings with Jessica. He looked forward to them. They were the highlights of his week. Who was he trying to fool? Jessica? Himself? As he sat in his living room, drinking, he began to realise what he knew he should have realised a long time ago. He was falling in love with Jessica. And he didn't know how to stop himself.

His phone beeped again. "Having a great time! What are you up to?"

Kyle hesitated. He couldn't keep the truth from her. And why would he want to?

"I had a job interview in London," he wrote. "And I got it."

A reply came thirty minutes later. "Wow, I guess I should say congratulations. Tell me all about it next week."

Kyle read the text a few more times. "Is there a hint of disappointment in there?" he wondered. "I guess I should say congratulations? Why not just say congratulations? And why did it take her so long to reply?"

He threw his phone back on the table. "I'moverthinking things," he thought. "Or am I? Does she have feelings for me,despite all that we have said? If she does, what do I do about the job?" Heclosed his eyes. He needed some sleep. His head would be clearer in themorning. He was sure of that.