The Annex

Chapter 39

"Cara," my mother threw her arms around me as my grandfather smiled from behind.

"What are you guys doing here," I said, surprised.

"You haven't gotten into contact with us at all, and then we heard about the battle at Evert," Grandfather said as he raised his eyebrows. "Brave but reckless." They came in to sit down and I caught them up on the events to date.

"For my project, I worked with Mimi and Desmerelda to fund and staff Desmerelda's soup kitchen so that she can serve more people."

"I'm so proud of you," my grandfather smiled.

"The reason we had to be evacuated was the murder of my friend Killian," I said as my voice broke just a little. My mother squeezed my hand as I continued. "Tomas, who I told you about just before was my escort and he, Mimi, Atlas, Atlas' escort and I made our way to the safety of a military base in the mountains."

"And your decision to join a losing battle," mother raised an eyebrow.

"It was the right thing to do. I followed the Commander's lead." My mother must have noticed how resigned I was and frowned slightly.

"Cara, what's wrong," she asked gently.

"Why did you choose Isla to be my sponsor?" I didn't mean for my words to come out as harshly as they had. My mother's eyebrows raised at my tone.

"Because we are friends. She's your godmother too and she's good at what she does. She's good at making things happen," my mother said.

"She's good at playing the game," I said. "I'm just a pawn to her, mom."

"What do you mean," my mother said.

"Did you know that she's filing a dual candidacy application," I asked.

"She spoke of it when we visited," my mother said carefully. "I know I was very against the idea of it, but you and Atlas get along and you can't deny the benefits."

"So you knew," I stared at her in disbelief. "You're just playing the game too, aren't you. I thought you didn't even want me anywhere near here."

"You have to understand, Cara. I didn't. I didn't want you to have anything to do with the Court. But if anyone's capable of becoming a good monarch, it's you. And we see that. You have a good heart, and you'll make this kingdom better, how can we stand in the way of that. How could we not get you to the throne in whatever way we can?"

"So the end justifies the means," I bit out, staring her down. "I don't believe this."

I fled from my mother and grandfather, racing out my room and down the stairs. I made my way to the stables and found Val. I was grateful that he was already saddled and ready to be ridden. I leapt onto his back and with a kick, he was spurred into motion. I watched as the guards at the south gate scrambled as I approached at full canter.

"Stop," they yelled as they tried to close the gates that had just been opened to let a patrol in. I lowered my center of gravity on Val and kept going.

"Cara," I heard Tomas' voice yell after me but I didn't turn. I needed to get away. The feeling of being a puppet was overwhelming and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I took Val past the archery fields and to the foot of the mountains. The wind whipped past my face as I looked up. The air felt heavy and I looked up to see a storm rolling in. I didn't care. I needed to escape. Fat drops of rain began to fall as I slowed Val and dismounted. The heavens opened up and a torrential downpour began. It seemed to mirror my current state of mind.

I didn't want to be a puppet for anyone. I didn't want to get rid of my freedom. I knew that as a Queen, I could change so much. But who was to say that I couldn't change things without being in the throne. I didn't have magical powers nor did I have deep understandings on war but I had still managed to make a difference in the battle with Windfall. Was I willing to sell my free will for a throne? The rain washed the tears away as I sank to the ground. I sat in the rain until I was numb and suddenly aware of how late it was. I had spent my time in misery trying to figure out what my priorities were.