Renegade: The Alliance Chronicles, Book Six

Chapter Two

Asher

"Is there a requirement for genuine friends? If there is, I'd say it's helping through the tough times."

—from Sessions with Abigail Ramirez-Lee, Psy.D., P.C.

Why is it so damned important for me to save a man who doesn't want to be saved?

No matter what trouble Mark Carter finds himself in I'm always there to pull his ass out of the fire. My shrink once told me I suffer from a savior complex. Basically, I couldn't save my family, so I feel the need to save everyone else.

Did I agree with her?

Honestly?

I didn't know.

Sure, I want to keep Mark from hurting himself or worse. But was it my responsibility to watch after him like he's a child?

The actual problem was that we'd been through too much together. He was my support when I had none. He was the guy who comforted me when I had no one. He was the guy who...

Well, none of that's important.

Bottom line? I just want him to find a little happiness. Granted, Mark wasn't like other men. He'd never find a woman and settle down. Have a kid or two. That didn't mean he couldn't find a shred of joy in this fucked up world.

Maybe suggesting we could hang out like old times was a bit much. After all, there were things we couldn't do—shouldn't do—again. Living in the past would have me just as broken as Mark.

"Maybe not like old times, but we could catch up. You know, to make up for lost time? Dude, I've, like, missed having you around." That was the honest to God truth. Mark knew me better than anyone.

A pained expression crosses his face. He blew air through his cheeks. "Yeah. Same here."

For the first time in months, a lightness settled in my chest. I knew this man. He'd surrender. When it came to me, I usually got my way with him.

Still, I didn't want to chance anything. It wasn't until that moment I realized how much I needed Mark in my life.

I chose my words carefully. "Like, come back with me to Los Alamos. Please."

Lord, I felt like a girl begging a guy to stay. This wasn't anything like that. I was fucking lonely. When I first returned to civilian life, I had Zared to hang out with. Then Tru gave birth to the twins, and he became a busy father.

For the longest, Rihana and the kids filled the void. I love my wife. I love my kids. But they couldn't erase the overwhelming isolation I endured. The truth of the matter is that I spent far too much time in the field. I grew accustomed to living in harsh climes. I enjoyed the struggle to survive and not get caught by the enemy. Hell, part of me missed it.

Mark side-glances at me. "You're pitiful. You know that, right?"

"No more pitiful than you, Outlaw."

He punches me in the shoulder. "You got me beat."

Just for a moment... I feel like my old self. My best friend is back by my side and everything will be all right.