Renegade: The Alliance Chronicles, Book Six

Chapter 12

Asher

"No one should put you in a position to force a decision. True friends don't make you choose between loving them and living your life."

—from Sessions with Abigail Ramirez-Lee, Psy.D., P.C.

Although it was ill-advised by my step-grandfather, I sat through the mission's briefing session. Listening to the dangers Mark and the others would face jarred me. I couldn't share my concerns with Steve. It was a done deal in his book. But I had to speak to someone. Talking to Rihana wouldn't be smart. I'd put her through enough when I came close to sleeping with Ko. My best option? Dr. Lee.

The therapist and I have enough of a history for her to know something troubles me just from the sound of my voice. She quickly made room for me in her schedule.

"You knew Mark would go on a mission at some point. Is this about Ko again?" Dr. Lee asks, pen poised to take notes.

"No." Thankfully therapy helped me get over my issues with Ko. Honestly, the girl was never a real threat to my marriage. I simply let myself get caught up while undercover, nothing more. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. "Do you think, like, I'm too involved in Mark's life?"

"You tell me," the therapist says flatly.

I run a hand through my hair and stare at the floor. "I don't know. He's my very best friend. Aren't I supposed to care about what happens to him?"

"Of course you're supposed to care about him, Asher. But your concern for him shouldn't put your life on hold or interfere with his. I thought we'd hashed through this. What's happened to make you question your involvement?"

"It's not just one thing," I say, looking up. "He's hanging out with this other recruit. Like, the guy's bad news."

"How so?"

"Mark shouldn't drink. When he gets drunk, he likes to fight. This guy took him out drinking after Mark had had too much already."

Dr. Lee crosses her plump legs. "Not a smart decision, but it was Mark's choice."

"I know it was his decision. But Mark's actions will eventually get him killed," I snap and draw in a sharp breath. "If he makes the wrong move during this mission, he won't come back!" My harangue leaves me panting, as if I'd run a race and lost.

"Ahh, now we're getting to the point." She puts her pen down. "We've talked about this before, Asher. Mark is not your brother. Watching over him like a hawk won't prevent bad things from happening to your friend."

"Don't you think I know that?" My voice comes across strained.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Tell me what's really going on with you. You've told me about Mark, but I think this goes deeper."

Sitting forward, I rest my arms on my knees. "Mark is alone. His family abandoned him simply because he won't live the way they want him to. I'm all he has."

"What expectations do they have for Mark?"

"To settle down with a wife and kids. Work in the family business."

"Seems like an admirable goal."

"But he won't be happy. It's not who he is."

"How do you know who Mark really is?"

"Trust me. I do." I'd lived with the man. You can't live with someone and not get to know them intimately. "I know Mark better than anyone. He's addicted to thrills. He enjoys danger, but he has a soft side."