Renegade: The Alliance Chronicles, Book Six

Chapter 25

Asher

"Friends argue. Frankly, men probably do it better than women in the sense that men get over their disagreement readily. Don't hold back your feelings and don't hold grudges. They only make matters worse."

—from Sessions with Abigail Ramirez-Lee, Psy.D., P.C.

Rihana and I are cleaning up after lunch. The kitchen is cramped compared to the one back at the compound, but after my step-grandfather's stunt I couldn't stick around. 

So I told everyone I was ready to move on, preferably to some place in town. Mama Sibley understood and helped me find a modest two-bedroom stucco with two bathrooms and a small patio. Rihana hates the house, insisting we need more space. 

She isn't wrong.

I commandeered a corner in the garage to do my writing, but the sacrifice is worthwhile because I refuse to move back. Viyan and Shiloh will continue to share a room. Once the baby is born, he'll sleep in our room.

Rihana washes the last plate before waddling over to the table. She kicks off her shoes and puts her feet up on a chair.

"You okay, baby?" I ask.

She sighs and props her hands on her rounded belly. "I am. This was easier with Maria and Sibley around. Aza, tell me the actual reason we left the compound. You have avoided this conversation long enough."

I drop the dishtowel on the counter and take a seat across from her. Tru told me to be honest with Rihana, but first, someone should explain the problem to me. While I think of the right words, I massage my wife's swollen feet and ankles. 

"Steve made leaving a necessity."

Rihana grimaces. "Why? Is this about the woman in Michigan?"

"No." This would be easier if the issue concerned Ko. "It's about Mark."

She waves her hands in the air. "Forgive me, but I always thought you were too close to him."

My hands freeze. "Why do you say that?"

"You and Mark seem closer than just friends."

My heart beats again, and I continue massaging her feet. "Yeah, I know. But..."

"What, Aza? We have no secrets between us."

No secrets. 

I made the vow after I came close to screwing Ko. Because I didn't want to lose my wife, I made the promise to hide nothing from her again. 

"Ree, you remember how I, like, lost my family?"

"Of course." She tilts her head to the side. "You went through a rough time."

"Mark helped me through it. My life would have been so much worse without him."

"Aza, why are you telling me these things again?"

"My... Steve thought he was removing Mark from my life by sending him on the mission to Brazil. He showed me some pictures—"

"What type of pictures?"

My wife's culture and religion are intolerant of homosexuality. Telling her about Mark is risky since Rihana doesn't like the man. She'll instantly jump to the wrong conclusion. But I started the discussion. Might as well finish it.

"Ones with Mark and a man."

Rihana's brow furrows. Reality comes home when her mouth opens in a small O. She blinks rapidly as understanding hits home. "Um... Why would he show you those?"

"Steve thought I'd, like, see the pics and not want to be bothered with Mark anymore."

"But that didn't happen?" Her question is searching.

"No. Disappointment? Yes. I thought Mark had better taste in men."

"So, his homosexuality doesn't bother you?"

"No, because Mark's not gay. Promiscuous, but not gay. He likes men and women. None of that matters to me, though. He's my best friend."

"So we moved here because you had a problem with your grandfather?"

"My step-grandfather." I couldn't think of Steve in the same way after his actions. "And yes, that's why we moved."

"What aren't you telling me?"

Rihana, my personal bullshit meter, has always known when I'm less than honest. "Bottom line? Steve Winters issues with Mark might include me."

She pulls a face. "You're not like Mark."

"No. But for a long time I...I questioned myself." I pause and think about where this conversation is going. 

My past included shit with the potential to damage our marriage. I love my wife too much to endanger our relationship, which means I can't tell her everything. 

She holds up a hand. "Aza, are you happy with me and the children?"

"Of course, I am." My chest tightens. "I love you, Ree. That will never change."

She opens and closes her mouth, shaking her head. "Our love is the important thing, nothing else."

"Yes, you're right." The weight drops off my chest. "Steve couldn't accept that Mark will always be in my life. He's helped me countless times. No way will I turn my back on him."

She struggles to stand, and I help her up. "Aza, is there anything else you need to tell me?"

A sinking feeling settles in my gut. I upset her, and I didn't intend to. "No, Ree. Nothing else."

"Don't doubt my love for you, but these talks frighten me."

"Why?"

"During our marriage, I've feared losing you to a Christian woman. When you told me about Mark, I thought I might lose you to a man."

I throw my arms around my wife and pull her as close as I can get. "You're not losing me to anyone. I promise you. You still have my heart. You asked why we moved. I couldn't tell you the reason without explaining my friendship with Mark. Trust me, I don't want anyone but you."

She cups my face and kisses me on the lips. "The same here, my love."

My cell phone rings, fracturing the moment. Checking the screen, I see Steve's name displayed. I didn't want to talk to him, but if I didn't he would only keep calling.

"Hello."

"Asher, the team is back. You should go to the hospital," he says calmly.

"What's happened?" I put my arm around Rihana's shoulder.

"Mark been shot. Leslie removed the bullet, but an infection set in."

The world skids to a stop, but my heart is racing. "H-how..."

"He's in a coma."

Fear grips me. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Disconnecting the call, I look at my wife. "They're back and Mark needs you," she states flatly.

"Yeah." I scroll through my phone. "I'm calling Mama Sibley. She can, like, come and sit with the kids. You should come with me."

"No." Rihana shakes her head. "Aza, I'm tired, but call your grandmother. I enjoy having her around."

I kiss Rihana's cheek. What on earth did I do to deserve this woman's love? I'll never jeopardize it. Not again, for no one.